The Philosophy of Me

The Life and Mind of no one Special

Satan and FF Ambush Daughter

As everyone is aware, I sent an e-mail to Satan last week (not the one I posted.) In this letter I clearly stated that Satan is to no longer use B’s sisters as bargaining chips to get B to see FF, and that under no circumstances is she allowed speaking to or seeing FF. I had this feeling all week that when Satan picked B up for their semi-monthly visit yesterday that Satan would surprised her by brining her to see FF and her sisters. So B left for her visit, and at 7pm I receive a text from Satan saying “just wanted to let you know that I brought FF and the girls to see B, and everything went fine.” The minute I read this I was consumed with such hatred and anger. I shouted out “I f’ing knew it!” I went and showed my wife the text, and we were both heated.

When B got home we asked her to come talk to us. We asked her if she knew FF was going to be there and she said no. We inquired further and asked how this whole thing came about. She said that Satan and her grandma picked her up and headed off to the Eden Prairie mall. When they got into the parking lot they told B that FF and the girls are inside and asked her if she wanted to go in and see them. At first Satan said that her grandma would take the sisters while she and FF talked to B, and that she might get to see her sisters. My daughter sat out there for 45 minutes and finally agreed as long as she was able to see her sisters the whole time, and that there is to be no talk of the past. After Satan asked FF for is permission on this, she agreed and off they went.

I am just really at a loss with this whole situation. I made it crystal clear to Satan that B is not allowed to see FF, and I feel like she did this out of spite and too show me that she can do whatever she wants. The last time I told her that B is not allowed seeing or speaking to FF; she told me “you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do on my visits.” I should have listened to my gut and just told her that B is no longer going to be allowed to go with her on visits anymore, and then we could deal with it in court. There are so many things about this situation which pisses me off, but the worst is that Satan and her grandma put B in a lose lose situation. All B wants is to see her sisters, she is sitting in the parking lot with her mom and grandma watching her waiting for her response, and her sisters are right inside. How do you put an 11 yr old child, your own daughter, in such a manipulative situation?

I am proud of B, that she told Satan that she wouldn’t go in unless she could see her sisters the whole time and that the past is not to be brought up, but she should never have been put into this situation to begin with. I am happy for B that after two and a half years she was finally able to see her sisters.

My wife thinks it is my job to stop this, to enforce my beliefs of B’s well being as her sole custody provider. She thinks I should contact the courts to find out what rights I have to enforce B not seeing FF. I think now that FF has seen B that I have nothing left to do but sit back and allow the FF/Satan family to do as they please with my daughter twice a month. This is only the beginning, now two Sunday’s a month will be spent at Satan house with FF, then it will be asking for B to spend the night Saturday nights prior to her scheduled Sunday’s , then it will be can we have B for a weekend. Then it will be Satan back in court asking for her parenting time back to every other weekend spent at their house. My wife thinks if we do not stop it now, and B has spent many of times with FF that we will have no ground to stand on. But if we stop it now we may be able to stop the snowball from rolling down the hill.

I am not sure what the proper next step to take is. I don’t know if I should not allow B to see her mom anymore. As I stated above the issue has always been that Satan was manipulating B and consistently hurting her. No matter how many times B told Satan that she wants to see her sisters, but not FF, Satan kept pushing, and dangling that carrot in front of her. Now that she has seen FF and her sisters then what am I trying to prevent? FF is going to always be on his best behavior until he realizes he can go back to mistreating her. I disagree with my wife on stopping the visits, because I would have no legs to stand on in court. It’s shitty that Satan put B into this tough situation, but I am also happy she was finally able to see her sisters. Maybe this is what I should be focusing on.

April 18, 2011 - Posted by | Abusive Parents, Children, Family, Fatherhood, Kids, Parent, Parenting, Rants | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 Comments »

  1. I do not believe we should stop all visitations with B mom, keep in mind here that the goal is NOT to stop B from seeing her mom, the goal is to allow B to feel safe, happy, and healthy when with her mom, and to be allowed to form a relationship with her sisters. It is all sad and unfortunate.

    Comment by Mrs. Lundmark | April 18, 2011 | Reply

  2. I feel for you as a dad. This has got to be heartbreaking. I wish I had some wise words, but I don’t. Its just such a twisted sad situation with you and B being manipulated repeatedly.
    All I can say is that I will just continue to pray for you Guys. God knows and loves you and B, and your X as well. My prayers will be that God changes her heart and lets her see the pain she has/is causing. God can heal and bring restoration to this situation and sometimes the most difficult thing we can do is to pray for those who hurt us. But, it’s often the best course of action, not only for them, but for our hearts healing as well.
    Big hugs and prayers for you and B, and the situation~

    Comment by notplanb | April 18, 2011 | Reply

  3. Well, sad to hear that but you thought this may just happen one day. My first thought was has her mom sought out counseling to help with their relationship, as the court had suggested? Maybe that may help your cause. And yes, stopping any visitation is not the answer. Hard situation. I would contact the courts to see what you can do.

    Comment by Karen | April 18, 2011 | Reply

  4. Just because B has seen FF once, does not mean that the whole thing is over and done with, because they have gone against the recommendation of the court psychologist, right?
    How was B after all this went down?
    Jodi

    Comment by jedwardswright | April 18, 2011 | Reply

  5. I agree with your wife.

    Comment by The Rambling Taoist | April 18, 2011 | Reply

  6. Tough call.. I have a Satan in my Son’s life too.. he hurt my “not his” daughter while she was visiting with her brother still after we were split.. Liked to tear my heart apart when I found out what he did..

    I allow his son to visit now.. with a court approved chaperon..I dont like it..

    Comment by jennirey | April 19, 2011 | Reply


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