The destruction of the English language started with rap music in the late eighties. I grew up listening to this rap music. I remember trying to mimic the language, attitude, and lifestyles of the rap culture. Here I was living in the suburbs of Minnesota with my pants hanging off my ass, gang signs on my $2.00 white flip-flops, and a shitty ass attitude. I am certain that I looked like a complete douche, but you live and you learn.

I am thankful I didn’t grow up with the rap music that is on the market today. The ghetto slang going around today is as silly as it is complex, so much so that there are entire websites dedicated to translating this goofy shit. I do know that if any of my children came home and used the phrase “real talk” I would most likely drop kick their asses out the window, then reprogram them to talk like normal human beings.

I bring this up because I was listening to T.I.’s “Swing Ya Rag”. The lyrics are laughable at best, and all I can picture is some white kid in the Mall of America swinging his Gucci rag, pants sagging, goofy flat billed baseball cap cocked to the side, and sporting a Gucci purse. These types of antics are downright psychotic, and frankly I would assume that he would be sent to the loony bin for looking like a complete dumbass.

As a parent, I could not allow my child to go out in public like that. I would never allow either of my sons to carry a purse. They could argue all they wanted to say it’s a handbag or backpack. My response would be a simple “it’s a purse dumbass; unless your role is the catcher, you’re not leaving this house”. The day I utter those words, will be the day I finally have to accept that I am old.

These are things I worry about. Honestly though if either of my son’s started going through that phase, I would drive them to North Minneapolis and drop their silly little ass’s off. I am sure they would un-cock their goofy looking flat billed hat’s, pull up their pants, and hide their fruity little man purse. It is easy for suburban kids to act ghetto when they know they won’t get killed for dressing like a total retard.

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