Frustrated, Robbed, And Without An Identity

Posted: March 5, 2010 in Blog, Blogging, Coping, Depression, Ethics, Greed, Grief, Mental Illness, Morals, Motivation, Opinion, Published Author, Stress
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I have become frustrated with where I am at with the seven-year plan. My website www.thephilosophyofme.com was a complete waste of money. I am being screwed by my publisher PublishAmerica, and I feel my blog and website lack an identity. I am flustered and I have hit a wall, which I am finding is hard to climb.

I am working on a children’s book, when I submitted my first draft, it completely sucked and needs to be completely revamped. I have a vision in my mind as far as how I want it to look. I think this version will be far better than the first. The problem is when it is complete I have to rely on my illustrator to finish the pictures. He is a busy man, so not sure how long the illustrations will take.

I have a concept for a book called Conversations on Life. The book will be co-written by my best friend Dan. I know with our unique view on life, philosophy, theology, and everything in-between. I have faith this will be good, it is hard to get it going due to conflicts in schedules. I have two other concepts one is a book called Deceived, this is about the history and manipulation of Christianity. This requires hours of research which I do not have. The final concept is a theology book about every religion throughout time. This will include; creation stories, origins, believe system, destruction of, morals, apocalyptic stories, and many more. I have a few others, but they are not as defined as the other ones.

I want these to become realities, but the reality is there is no time to work on them. I am frustrated about this, because I know it hinders my advancement of my seven-year plan.

My publisher PublishAmerica is screwing me, and without the decency of a reach around. My book “My Descent into Madness” was released on my publisher’s website the end of December. I advertised it on my Facebook account, my blog, and created a website to promote it. I put so much emotion into this book, and the contents can never be reproduced. I submitted my manuscript to numerous publishers, I also self published it. I was excited when I received the e-mail from PublishAmerica. My dream had come true, little did I know this dream would turn into a nightmare.

PublishAmerica sends out royalty checks and statements the end of February and the end of August. I recieved an e-mail statement telling me I had sold zero books. I knew for a fact I had sold some, because I recieved confirmation from friends and family on Facebook that they purchased this book. I responded to the e-mail and stated to them they had their figures wrong. I told them family and friends had purchased the book, so I knew they were wrong. I filed a BBB complaint I said they were committing fraud, and were in breach of the contract. I asked to be released from the contract.

I received an e-mail from the crooks at PublishAmerica. The representative said I needed to provide proof of the sales. They needed confirmation numbers among other things. She stated if I provided this then she would look into it. She also stated they were in a court battle with their printing company and that is the cause for why I had not recieved proper credit.

I responded to the e-mail, and told them their rhetoric was insulting to me. I explained to them, I had received a bank statement from a co-worker, and it states they were charged by PublishAmerica. I asked them what that had to do with their printing company. If my co-worker was charged by PublishAmerica and not their printing company what the fuck does that have to do with their law suit. I also said how in 2010 with a website, how they do not know where sales were going on their own website. I explained to them, I don’t care about the royalty mony, but I do care about knowing how my book is selling. I have yet to receive a response. I can produce proof of some of the sales, but how am I to produce proof of sales for people I do not know. I am advertising this book in two places, I have done two interviews, so how the fuck am I supposed to prove sales? This means I will never see a dime from these fuckers, and I will never know how succesful or unsuccessful my book was.

That book meant so much to me, I poured my heart and soul into it. I am now finding out I am just getting pimped. I have no recourse to fix this, I will be getting screwed for the next seven years. My publisher sends me e-mails all the time offering me discounts to purchase my book. I should set it up somehow to have people buy directly from me. I would sell the book for what I paid for it. I do not care about the money.

I do not have an identity, I mean how would you categorize my blog? It is all over the place. I talk about something one day, then something completely different the next. I look at blogs which receives tons of traffic, and they focus on one subject. I need to know what my identity is, if I can’t then I am wasting my time blogging.

I do not have an identity on my website, right now the site blows nuts. I am unsure how to fix it. I need to advertise it, but google and yahoo is not cheap. The site promotes my book which I will never receive credit for. It has a forum, which I thought could be a support group for people suffering from mental illness and those who care for them. I thought it would be a place where people could share how they cope, and advice on caring for your loved ones. I have been the only one who has posted something on it. How do you even promote something like that?

My site receives a decent amount of traffic considering you can’t find it anywhere on the internet except for some free banner ads, and via my blog. There is no reason for people to come back, because it lacks anything of value. I wasted my money on the website, I am wasting time blogging, and I am getting pimped out like a cheap whore by my publisher.

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Comments
  1. Johanna says:

    Gee, Don’t be so hard on yourself.

  2. Admitidly says:

    Listen! While I surmise that being an impressive speaker is all well and good, but at some point you have to “get something done”.

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