When I first started writing this blog I had very little expectations of its success. When I first started getting regular readers and subscribers I started to get excited. I now had hopes and a goal of becoming successful using this medium. Over the last month I have gained zero new subscribers; instead I have been losing them. The largest chunk came when I wrote my ode to Easter posts.

I made a promise to myself that I would always stay true to myself, and never sell out just to gain or satisfy my readers. I knew the content of my posts would not be chipper ones, but my hopes is my writing style would speak for itself, and draw people in. I hoped people would appreciate my writing style, and have respect for the fact I always told it like it is. I knew my lack of a consistent theme was going to be something that would hurt me, but at the same time I thought my disdain towards conformity would be refreshing and keep people coming back.

I know my biggest downfall is not advertising. I read an article on the steps to take to bring readers in. I just have not had the time to take them. My biggest concern is if I can not keep readers, then what does that mean for my dream of becoming a writer full-time? A published author should be one that draws his/her readers in, and be good enough to recommend to others. If I am unable to do this, than how can I sell books.

I just wonder if I am deluded in thinking I have writing talent. I feel like the people who bought my book; gave it praise because they were family or friends. Could I possibly be one of those people on American Idol who are filled with such lies about their talent, they end up going on national television and make an ass of themselves.

In the end I enjoy writing. It feels good to expose my naked feelings. I just don’t want to be filled with false hopes on my ability to write. I do not spend much time writing these posts, they are quick and unedited. Perhaps that is my problem. Maybe I need to put more time and effort to produce a better product. I feel when you go about exposing your true self, the first draft is the real you. The more you attempt to edited it, the farther you get from who you are.

I appreciate those who continue to come back and read my stuff. My urge to succeed will never supercede my goal of never selling out. If that means only one person reads a day, then so be it. I will still be able to look myself in the mirror, because I stayed true to who I am.

  1. Nicole says:

    I read it. 🙂

  2. Gail says:

    Don’t put all your eggs in your blog basket Tim. Keep writing for yourself and continue to work on published materials…that is where you want to be so put more into that. Do what YOU need to do here, and figure out how to do what you want and others need in the published world. Somehow you’re going to have to figure out how to get over rejection, as unfortunately, most published writers know that very well!!

  3. You seem to have created an internal conflict (desiring a multitude of readers vs being true to thyself) that doesn’t need to be. You need to decide which of these two goals is the most important to you, then the other part of the dichotomy will melt away.

    If you want a plethora of readers, you need to pick more vacuous topics like Paris Hilton, Tiger Woods, skills to utilize to become filthy rich or make commonsense lists that you pass of as epiphanies (note: I really loathe blogs like that!).

    If you want to remain true to thyself, then pay no attention to the numbers!!

    Blog stats are deceiving anyway. Some people records “hits”. But one page can mean 20 hits — which means a meager ten visitors can generate 200 hits.

    Some blogs collect thousands of subscribers, but who knows if any of those folks actually READ the blog!

    My advice is to stay true to yourself and those folks looking for authenticity will find you. It may be one million or it may be one — the number shouldn’t matter.

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