When I was younger I used to go to raves every weekend. I loved going it was a great time, and raves were a massive part of my business. I was a big shot dealer; raves were a great chance to network, find suppliers, gain new customers, and sell my product. My favorite part of a rave was dropping acid, and getting totally ripped. I was not a huge fan of techno music or people for that manner, but once the LSD kicked in it was a great time. When nighttime shifted from darkness to light; the zombies came out to aimlessly roam about.

 The beginning of the night was filled with love and energy; all raves are different in one way or another, but share a few common traits. They have laser lights shooting all over the place and movie screens with trippy pictures. We all had glow sticks, which were being waved around to the beat of the music; creating a room full of trails. Everyone there was happy, loving, and energetic. The conversations seemed deep and eye opening. There were times you would think you just discovered the meaning to life and just solved the mystery of the cosmos.

 This atmosphere only lasted as long as people were on their way up or riding the peak. The night went on into the early morning once everyone started to come down the atmosphere changed drastically. The music became annoying, the bright lights seemed dull. The people who were once fucked out of their mind just wondered around the warehouse. We looked like mindless zombies with distant facial expressions. The only time this was not the case, is at the outdoor raves. This created a better experience because you were not confined indoors.

 Its funny because out of the hundreds of raves I attended it is not the money, or the high I remember. I only remember how I felt once I laid witness to the after effects. These images still bother me for some reason. I think part of me felt guilty because, I was responsible for most of these people to be in their current depressing state. I tried to rationalize in my mind; perhaps they do not see things as I do.

 I know from experience acid has a shitty comedown. The first part is unbelievable, once the trip kicked in you are taken on a wild ride which culminates with a three hour peak. Acid is not like mushrooms, when you come down you start to get body aches, you can’t sleep, and you desire to get back on to ride the wave one more time. The problem I found with most psychedelics is when you crash from your peak you more; unfortunately after you peak more has little to no affect on you.  

 This zombie syndrome became troubling. I couldn’t get it out of my mind, I felt as if these zombies would turn on me. We finally had to start leaving early to avoid the chance of being attacked. The drive home was equally terrifying. We kept taking turns until we discovered who would make the best “sober” cab. I would never go to a rave again, nor would I drop acid. I just hope these zombies did not turn into addicts as a result of my dealing.

I do not think there is anything wrong with the use of psychedelics, in fact I think it has its benefits. Perhaps psychedelics could be used in a therapy setting, religious meditation, or an in-home vacation.

What do you think…..

  1. Since you asked what I think, I’ll tell you. I should state at the outset that I have NEVER used ANY type of illegal drug (including pot) nor have I ever been drunk. I’m even not a big fan of legal pharmaceuticals. I’ve only taken super painkillers when I broke a tooth or immediately after surgery and then quit taking them as soon as possible.

    I don’t see anything morally wrong with using drugs. I favor the legalization of marijuana. That said, in my humble opinion, drugs are escapes. People use them because they don’t want to face life as it is. But a person can only run from life for so long; in the end it will overtake you.

    When it overtakes you, it will swallow you up because you haven’t prepared a strong foundation for it. You will have spent so much time and energy running from it that you don’t know what to do with it when it stares you straight in the face.

    If more people could learn how to use drugs or alcohol as a very infrequent diversion, it wouldn’t be so bad. It would more resemble taking a three day vacation and then getting back into the stream of life. Unfortunately, too many people completely drop out and, when they finally drop back in, they are like lost puppies.

    (Note: I went to one rave as an adult chaperon. I witnessed far too many zombies that night and I never volunteered to do that again.)

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      I know all to well about self medicating. I did it from 14 to early adulthood. Once the self-medication was gone, I was faced with everything I was trying to run from. When I came out of the years of abuse I had the maturity of a teenager.

  2. Gail says:

    That’s how those drugs got their start…experiments thru colleges..government…then when it was discovered there was a Fun component, they were made illegal.

  3. There’s another interesting aspect to drug usage. On the one hand, from what I’m told, psychedelics allow the individual to see things they might not otherwise see. On this count, that could be categorized as a big positive.

    On the down side, however, these visions rarely produce any TANGIBLE changes in people’s lives. They see “beyond the clouds,” but their feet remained mired in clay. In other words, the perceived benefits are so ephemeral as to be pointless.

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      A lot of times what you see is intense visuals, and an extreme body high. I have been on a few trips, which allowed me to have an intellectual trip. I wrote some wonderful pieces, which even after the fact were great. I think psychedelics would be beneficial to people in therapy. There has been times I thought I found truth, but was too high to write them down. I wonder if I was able to would it had made any sense.

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