I do not put any viewing restrictions on my two older children. They are allowed to watch what ever they choose; I do however place restrictions on my youngest one. I notice I am totally fine with them seeing death, murder, mayhem, and destruction. I do not even flinch when I am watching these types of movies with them. I do however get an uneasy feeling when there is sex and nudity. I almost want to jump up and shield their eyes from being exposed to such horrific things. I want to quickly fast forward these inappropriate images. There are times I will stop and think “why do I feel this way?” I wonder why I am ok with them seeing completely inappropriate behaviors, but am so horrified by the most beautiful and acceptable behaviors. I know I am not the only parent who feels this way.

I have noticed this bizarre standard long ago, but it was when I took my two older kids to see the remake of “Friday the 13th” which has really stuck with me. This movies starts out with drug use, and the murder starts off early, and so did the nudity and sex. I must have forgotten this series has been known for its graphic sex scenes. I was enjoying the movie up until the first scene where there was sex; I slouched down in my seat hoping nobody would notice I was allowing my children to see this madness. I was curling my toes, and felt queasy, until the sex stopped and the murder continue.

What kind of twisted standard I am sending to my children? In their minds I am condoning violence, but condemning sex? Will this make my kids feel uncomfortable in their feelings about sex? I want them to know being intimate is both normal and beautiful thing. I would feel uncomfortable telling them this information. Why are we so afraid to expose our children to this? Why do I feel this way? Does this stem from my own upbringing? When I was growing up I had no real restrictions on what I was allowed to watch. I wonder if my parents felt the same way as I do now. Was this standard passed down to me somehow?

This concept boggles my mind. I do not know at what point we have condemned sex as inappropriate. If you watch commercials from other countries you will see nudity and sex used casually are these other countries more sexually liberated than we are. I am interested to hear from my readers if this is a common thing.

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Comments
  1. Gail says:

    America is rather conservative but also we have grouped sex and violence together, so when your children are watching movies that contains both, you are not teaching sex and the human body are beautiful, it is teaching it is shameful and violence must follow. I can’t tell you how many kids I’ve interviewed who have conveyed this to me…in differing words, but that then they feel sex is shameful so those feelings must be quelled. As much as I hate romantic movies, those are the ones that show the positive aspects.

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      Gail,
      Awesome point! I never thought they would associate violence with sex. I don’t want my kids to view sex as shameful or associate it with violence. I also do no’t want to sit them down and tell them how beautiful and wonderful sex is. I also do not want to restrict them from certain movies. This associating viloence after sex is stimulating my mind.

  2. Monica says:

    I completely understand where you’re coming from and I wonder the same thing because I feel the same way. How old are you’re oldest children by the way? I have a nephew that I spend a lot of time with and I have taken him to movies that were the typical action movies where the actors were killing each other but there was sex in them as well. I got so uncomfortable during a sex scene and he could tell that I felt uncomfortable about it which in turn made him uncomfortable. I wonder if it does have something to do with the way I was raised because I wasn’t allowed to see nudity until I was 13 yet I got to watch horror movies when I was 7 or 8. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate for that to be the other way around? I still wouldn’t feel comfortable at all with my children watching something with nudity and sex scenes in it. I, like you, don’t understand why I feel that way.

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      Monica,
      My oldest is 14 he will be 15 in September My daughter is 11. . This is a funny story when my son was 9 and my daughter was 5 I watched “Dawn of the Dead” the re-make. This scared the shit out of them. After the movie I tried so hard to explain this was not real. This is one of my many parenting mistakes. I often wondered if they could feel how uncomfortable with sex. My daughter loves scarry movies, my son does not.

  3. ram0singhal says:

    divine…..insensitivity is the disease which has spread and spreading….all across the world….when a body part get insensitive…..to feel one hammers it …..this hammering is
    visible in movies…through action…horror…nudity…sex…
    …in personal dressing….music….the reason behind all is shift from emotional intelligence to logical intelligence…from feminine brain to masculine brain…and this is happening in men as well women….from soul to body…from creativity to eccentricity….from freedom to fear….all in the name of independent thinking…and lot of
    inkings on the walls as posters..advertisements…may be as
    out of chaos comes creativity ….sign of new age of wisdom.. hope for the best…

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      Ram0,
      I wished my generation would heal the world, we did not. I hope with this generation or the next the ills of our society will be fixed. I think society has decayed and I do not know if we can reverse the madness. I hope for the best but expect the worse. I hope for a new wage of wisdom.

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