Far too often we run into issues where people attempt to change us, or we seek desperately to change ourselves. These attempts bleed negatively into our lives. The more you try to forcefully change things the more complicated things become. We are not flowing with the Tao we are resisting it. This is not to say change is not possible, I know this because I am not the man I was ten years ago. I have grown and changed my inner self. These changes were made not because of force; they just were. This is healthy change because it is natural. It is change when change was meant to be.

The more you focus on the negative parts of someone the positives tend to get lost. For better or worse I am who I am, I need to be proud of my positives and be aware of my negatives. I have gone through my entire life hearing about my negatives. I have lost my self-worth. It is so easy to put someone down for there faults. The more you do this to someone the harder it becomes for the person to see their positives.  

I can no longer allow this type of cycle in my life. I need to surround myself with people, who love and appreciate my strengths, while loving me and holding me up from my weaknesses. The Rambling Taoist told me one time he is aware of his strengths, while also being aware of his limitations. I need to accept my own personal limitations, and be at ease with them. We cannot always be the person people want us to be, but we can be content with who we are without succumbing to others negativity.

  1. youluckybum says:

    Thank you for your thoughts. I am at the place where I realize I have given other people way too much power and influence in my own self esteem. If I go from the premise that you and I are seen as perfect even in our imperfections from a higher source (call it what you will), then I am well on my way. My choices may not be “right” or “perfect”, but they are the best ones I can make from where I am at the time. Most importantly, I am constantly changing, growing and becoming the me I want to become.

    • Tim Lundmark says:


      Welcome to the community. This way of thinking gives us power to accept who we are, and not allowing others to define us. It is a form of inner freedom and redemption.

  2. d says:

    that was beautiful. i am going to frame it and put it on my wall!!

  3. Better yet, Tim YOU need to frame this and put it on your wall or copy it to keep in your wallet. When you feel yourself slipping down into the dark hole — every one of us drops down there from time to time — you need to reread this post and, maybe, the hole won’t seem as dark and it will be easier to pull yourself back out. 🙂

  4. vicki furer says:

    Do you ever wonder why you can not seem to remember the times that you were built up? I as your mother do not ever remember putting you down. I might have pointed out your behaviours that were not so good as you were going through the many stages of your life, I may have tried to discipline you. I believe I told you many many times how much potential you had, do you rememebr the times I told you that you were the MOST special little boy and I loved you very much, do you rememebr sitting on my lap and cuddling and I would run my fingers along your hairline because you really liked that? Sometimes I read your posts and wonder why you can not ever remember the good things.

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      The times where you scratched my head to sleep are my foundest memories. I believe I did a post refrencing that, or it is in my book. I know you boosted me up. I don’t think my bad childhood memories in regards to self esteem has to do with you. They lie on Sam, Izzy, and my father. These were the people who compleatly destroyed my self worth as a human being. I need to try not to generalize things in such a wide scope. It is hard to see the positives in the past when I am feeling down.

  5. ram0singhal says:

    divine…..trees inhale carbon-dioxide and convert into oxygen….so silent….a person should inhale love from every pore…..convert….exhale happiness from every pore….into air…..silent work….no words of change….let silence work..

    love all…

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