Death In An Elevator

Posted: December 17, 2010 in Death, Dying
Tags: , ,

I was on my way down to the first floor to drop the schedules off at the nurses’ station. As I entered the elevator I saw a man heading my way carting off a recently deceased resident. I really wanted to quickly hit the door close button pretending I didn’t see him, but we had already made eye contact. I held the door for him against my better judgment. As he entered the door my eyes were fixated on this body bag, containing a once living man. It was a very dark experience for me, and it felt like an eternity to travel down one floor. Here I was standing next to a man who was a live and kicking when I got to work this morning and now he is gone. He was in a body bag, so I couldn’t see who it was; I was afraid to ask this man’s name in fear it was one of the residents I am close to. I just stared at this body bag with human like form to it. I was stricken with such sadness and fear. The man carting him off did not seemed bothered by this; to him it was just like carting off bad fruit. This is something he probably does everyday. All I wanted to do was get off this elevator away from the reminder of my future death. I felt as if I should say something in remembrance of this once living man. I just can’t get this image out of my mind. I wonder if he knew when he woke up this morning he would be dead by lunch time. Did he know the reaper would be escorting him down the river between the living and the dead? I was fixated on this lifeless body, and was almost anticipating some sort of movement. This is only the second time I have seen somebody getting carted off in a body bag, and I had nightmares for months afterwards. I know the cycle of life you live and then you die, what composes will one day decompose. This cycle is hard for me to face. I just hope this man did not die alone.

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Comments
  1. Coming face-to-face with our own mortality is never easy. It shatters the fantasy (that we sometimes believe) that we will live forever.

  2. Johanna says:

    Tim, I agree, I always find it really weird that life goes on just the same. It’s surreal. I think it just underlies the fact that time on this earth is only fleeting.

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      Oh I agree to us 80 years figuratively and literally feel like a lifetime, but in the greater picture of time and the universe our time on earth is not even a bleep on the universes or even our planets radar. Like I wrote in an earlier post this week’s it almost makes us question the meaning of life. For you the meaning comes without effort because of your faith but for me who has no faith it can really mess with your head. It is Sunday and I had a nightmare on and couldn’t sleep on Friday because I was so bothered and I had nightmares last night. It is yucky

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