In my lifetime I have had many embarrassing moments, many of these moments are funny to me now, but were devastating to me at the time. I would like to share a few of these embarrassing moments to hopefully bring a smile to your face, at my expense of course! As a child and teenager I tried so hard to fit in and be popular. In this quest I have done some silly stuff in the name of popularity. Many of these moments took place when I was younger.

In the 90’s Guess jeans were really popular. My older sister, Traci, had a pair of these “cool” jeans, however I did not. When it came to name brand clothes we often went without. I went to school in Bloomington were popularity was based off what you had, or in my case what you did not have.  The night before school I was getting my clothes ready for the next day and I saw Traci’s “cool” jeans sitting on her floor. I secretly took them and put them in my room for the next day. I woke up the next morning and pulled on these “cool” guess jeans. Ya they were tight, but that was how Traci wore them so that was cool, right?!?!? I specifically tucked in my t-shirt so that you could see the Guess triangle on my butt!! I swaggered my ass to school thinking I was the shit. Not too long into my school day some random kid came up to me and said, why are you wearing girl jeans….boys have green triangles and girls had red. I was mortified. How the hell was I supposed to know that there was gender color Guess jeans. I un-tucked my t-shirt to hide the shame of a red triangle on my ass!!! Stupid name brand clothes.

I wanted to do my hair for school, it was a bit longer and it was always just boring. I saw other boys my age with gelled hair. My mom said she would help me style my hair in the morning for school. We woke up, got out the gel and hairspray, and went to town. She gelled the sides back, sculpted the top, it stood  up and then leaned to the side, then she sprayed the shit out of my hair with that aerosol cement hairspray. I trusted my mommy when she said I looked so good. Off to school I went with my fresh new hairstyle. Apparently the other kids did not agree with my mommy and they thought I looked like I had Elvis Presley hair. I bowed my head in shame and tried to make it thru the day ignoring the laughter. Thanks mom J

Boys will be boys, especially pre-pubescent boys who watch late night TV infomercials for FREE phone calls to beautiful women who will talk to them…… it said it was FREE!! So, when I could, I would sneak into my sister’s room cuddle up on her water bed, and call my new friends who had very nice and interesting messages for me.  IT WAS FREE the commercials said…. Until the day my mom opened the phone bill and there was a $3000.00 bill for overseas phone calls. The worst part is being a 12 year old boy having to tell your mom that you called phone sex lines…. Sorry mom!!

Vanilla Ice was very popular at this time; because of him it was radical to shave signs or letters into your head. So Traci being the 16 year old cool sister said she could shave my initials in the back of my head for me. I thought she was so awesome and could do anything, including shaving letters in the back of heads, silly me. So she proceeded to take the shaver out and shave “TL” in my head. I was pumped, now the popular kids who danced to Vanilla Ice would accept me. I got up looked in the mirror and she had shaved what looked like a house in my head!!! I told Traci it did not look like TL, she assured me from the back it was just fine, she told me it was cool. I foolishly believed her and proceeded to go to school like this. Note, never believe your older sister when she says she can make you look cool!!! Ya, you guessed it I was ridiculed in school, no Vanilla Ice kids danced with me that day.

Remember when Reebok pumps were really popular. All the popular boys had them, and I am pretty sure that is how they got all the popular girls. I begged my mom to get me some of these awesome pumps. She finally conceded and went to buy me some Pumps. Low and behold she found a deal, shoes that had a pump on them, but were not the actual Reebok pumps. Who would know the difference right! When she got home I was a bit disappointed but I agreed with my all knowing mom, who would know the difference. Once again I saunter to school thinking I am now the “shit”. Guess what, people knew the difference. Boys came up to me, squeezed my fake pump and said “Hey Tim are they pumping your feet up, are they , are they pumping up?” then they laughed…don’t worry I am working this out in therapy!!

I hit a point in my preteen years that I thought I was “gangster” , ya hard to believe, right!!  So I wore the baggy sagging jeans, the big sweatshirts, and the Starter brand jackets. And yes, I walked with a gangsta’ limp!! But the best part was my white slip on ked tennis shoes that I proceeded to draw gang signs on. This was the year my wife and I met and became friends.  She would come over to my place, point, laugh, and ridicule me for the gangster signs on my shoes. I really thought it was cool, but I also thought baggy pants and Starter jackets were cool, so my cool-dar was not spot on!!

These are but some of my embarrassing moments as a child, believe me there are many more. In my quest to be cool in the end I always seemed to look like a fool.

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Comments
  1. Melissa says:

    I remember when you wanted your hair cut to look like Micheal J Fox! You were so cute. My first day at 6th grade in Bloomington, I farted really loud. I also was trying to be cool that day. I think the lesson is to stop trying.

  2. Karen King says:

    Tim, you do make me laugh. I do believe boys go thru more than girls. I didn’t know Guess jeans had the gender label either, or I have forgotten. That particular jean is what fit Rachelle so she had many pairs. Don’t ever believe moms and sisters….did mom pay the bill? We all want to look cool, well maybe most of us. I’m sure I have had many moments myself. And trying to pull off knock-offs instead of name brand, yea, not cool.
    Love you,
    Have a safe and Happy New year
    Karen

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      Love you to Karen. I think one of the greatest things this year has brought is a new found relationship with you guys. Instead of hiding at family functions I have finally opened up. I think this blog and the foundation have a lot to do with this. I should have added this to the post I did today

  3. traci says:

    There are more memories than I can count with things we did back then. Looking back now they are quite funny. I am truly sorry about the “house” I shaved in the back of your head! I had no clue how to shave, cut, or even trim hair! So you cuddled up in my waterbed while you talked to the “free” beautiful women huh? Gross little Bro! 🙂 Just kidding, I love you Tim…. Remember the box of baseball cards you “bought” when you were like 7…. 🙂

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      Traci,
      It was funny I remember mom thought it was you, and didn’t believe you until she called one of the numbers. I am happy she didn’t get stuck with the bill. She was pretty pissed. Sorry about your water bed 🙂 Was the box of cards from the guy down the street from our blue house? “Bought” did I steal them??

      • Traci says:

        Yah, Mom thought I was calling psychics. I think I was busted for calling them once & that is why she blamed me. Yes, the box of baseball cards was from that kid down the street, I think he was my age maybe. No, you didn’t steal the cards but you helped yourself to my brand new $50.00 bill that I got for my birthday & this kid sold you a big box of cards for it. Good times, good times…. 🙂

      • Tim Lundmark says:

        Traci,

        ah yes my clepto days. I think I got in a lot of trouble for that. I can’t remember did I have to return them so you could get your money back? I wish I still had those cards they were from the sixties and seventies so there were some great cards in there. That actually started me on my sports card collection. We did have some really fun times together growing up, although you and me seemed to either get along great or we were at each others throat (you tried to attack me with one of those nail cutter files) You and me remiond me a lot of Dylan and Bri. I wish you lived closer damnit!!

  4. daliah says:

    Thanks for sharing Tim, I had a good chuckle. Yup, Guess jeans, Starter jackets and Keds were all in back in the day lol.
    I also remember my cousins (who were older) were super cool with their water bed and that tape player listening to Vanilla Ice. And omg womens hair back then! the higher the better.

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