Broken Dolls

Broken dolls are meant to be along

A walk over the loveless moon

The loveless moon shines to bright

Broken dolls blinded by the light

Desperately alone wondering the night

Broken dolls from broken homes

Build broken homes of their own

Cracked walls bring rays of loveless light

Broken dolls carry broken hearts

Through the graveyard on those loveless nights

Broken toys for broken boys

Brings broken dreams and empty joy

Broken dolls with a broken face

Within his eyes he sees the place

Where loveless moons light voided space

Broken dolls belong in the trash

Finally freed from the loveless grasp

The loveless moon shows brand new cracks

Loveless moons illuminate pain filled lakes

Broken dolls leaving tear stained paths, to ashamed to look back

We are meant to walk alone

No more broken children left at home

The loveless nights, the loveless moon

Guaranteeing to break real soon

Within the mist; broken dolls will not be missed

Poem taking from “Yin”

By: Tim Lundmark

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Comments
  1. Nicole says:

    what?

  2. Johanna says:

    Tim, my idea for your poem is to organize it a bit better and tweak the syllabication. For example, I was thinking line 3, 4, 18, and 19 might fit well together. You could group the ideas in groups of 4 phrases. It seems like you have 3 or 4 main ideas. 1. broken dolls/moon 2. broken dolls for broken or alone child 3. no hope/pain. After you pour out a poem, look back for the main ideas that you are trying to focus on and organize the thoughts and tweak the wording or grouping of words. You could even draw sort of a picture map to get your thoughts organized. Just a thought.

    The only spelling errors would be in line 3-too
    Line5-wandering

    • Tim Lundmark says:

      Thank you. I will need to go back and read the poem and see about grouping differently. The ortiginal poem is broken up into I think six parts, but when I try to double space it actually skips four lines and ends up looking bad.

  3. terri0729 says:

    Tim, this is very nicely written! Just wanted to let you know I put you on my The Versatile Blogger Award list. If you wish to accept it, just see the related blog post and follow the same steps that I did. Blessings, Terri

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