“One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat.”

Posted: April 8, 2016 in Uncategorized

Quote by Napoleon Hill. I don’t know how it happened but I ended up getting a second chance at continuing my tour. Life is strange, I was almost hospitalized yesterday, today is different.  I am still confused and disoriented it’s all very uncomfortable.

I am again tasked with trying to complete something I am unable to complete properly. Am I setting myself up for more failure? I have to try and do this which adds the pressure to succeed.

I don’t know if I can really get my website properly done and start my you tube channel. In fact I don’t know very much or what the hell I just wrote. Being unaware of my illness is blissfully beautiful. Being aware that my mind is crumbling is pure hell. I can’t stop it and I am on the outside watching this cluster fuck unfold before my eyes.

I am going to end this post, I am just trying to write daily even if the content is horseshit. The nice thing is people can just not read it.

I do want to know how to not feel so confused and broken. My many masks seem to be falling apart I am frantically trying to put them back together so no one will see me. My masks don’t make sense because they are all parts of different masks. This simple won’t end favorably.

I need my masks to get through these shows. I need to hide behind something so people won’t see a terrified broken doll, so people won’t see my ugliness.

What’s an oxymoron is I am saying all of this in a public forum. The Alpha of My Omega is my final words and I published it. That seems fucked up to me. But it’s therapeutic so it really doesn’t matter… does it? I won’t ever know. It’s time to end this rant in which I have zero recolation on what I just wrote.

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