Cognitive Dissonance

Posted: June 1, 2016 in Uncategorized

I have lived with my mental illness long enough to accept and try to understand. I don’t understand what makes people what they are or how they’re defined beyond our social roles. I don’t understand fully what makes me… me the one thing I do know is I Can See Clearly when I start mentally declining I’m cognitively aware and can see this decline and the destruction it brings but I am helpless to stop it often times in therapy or in the hospital I wanted the bliss of ignorance. If I no longer believed in insanity would I no longer be insane? I think that is being blissfully unaware now as my mind has grown closer and closer and closer Devine blissfully unaware

My intelligence and thirst for knowledge is the only part of me I do not hate. Losing the ability to properly use the only good in me is terrifying. To completely lose touch with any rational reality, where dreams and reality begin to blur. I knew it was only a matter of time before my fractured and fragmented mind would take away the only good in me.

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