I don’t belong in civilized society less my madness be spread to the masses. Over the last few years the madness has become impossible to hide let alone deny. If my madness is factual and cannot be denied than what Kierkegaard is saying is the acknowledgment of my madness will inevitable perpetuate the insanity. 

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the positive self talk advice which is usually followed by the statement “fake it until you make it.” This statement encourages denial and self deception. 

Prior to my complete mental breakdown I lived in a reality of self denial and false realities. 

Day after day I wore the mask of the masses, until I no longer had the strength to put one on. As I have stated in prior posts this shift occurred once I discovered emotions, the evil which lives in all of us. I cannot contain my crazy because I lack a social filter. This deficiency causes me to stay locked away alone in my home. Isolation is like throwing gasoline onto a fire. 

A recent example was getting thrown out of stamp dealer store. This dude was being a dick, what’s worse is I was fully aware of his strategy. To make a long story short this man was not expecting nor appreciated the verbal vomit of honesty spewing from my lips. I don’t know if it was my honesty or my liberal use of the word “fuck.” The end result is being permantely banned from this establishment. My honesty being without a filter almost got me arrested. 

The Pandora ‘s box of my insanity and the curse of seeing the truth of our society, a society blinded by complacency and ignorance. Most great minds are plagued with madness, they must have faced the facts of their reality and still have the courage to use it as a tool to enact change. 

The following link leads to the face of true evil.

https://coms.doc.state.mn.us/publicviewer/OffenderDetails/Index/254746/Search 

Comments
  1. socrates2 says:

    Please consult Elaine Aron’s _The Highly Sensitive Person_. It describes some of _our_ symptoms to a “T.”
    I also consult Alan Watts’ _The Book: On the Taboo against knowing who you are_. The third life-salvaging book I feel is _The Drama of the Gifted Child_ by the “Galileo of psychoanalysis,” Alice Miller. The seriously misunderstood (misnamed?) title of the book I suspect has hurt its chances of a wider, needed readership. A close fourth is R.D. Laing’s _The Politics of Experience_.
    For decades I believed I was a candidate for a straitjacket or Arkham asylum, till these thinkers helped me realize we live in an extremely dysfunctional culture and some of us intuitively refuse to buy into its dysfunction… Or as someone once asked, “how do you know what ‘normal’ _is_ if you’ve been raised in an asylum?”
    Come up for air, and appreciate the wonder of the universe much like that character in the Flammarion engraving…
    We live in a phenomenological universe. So you are validated. _And_ your self and soul deserve better…
    Be well.

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