About Me and This Window Into My Fractured Mind


“Painting is Poetry which is seen and not heard and Poetry is a painting which is heard and not seen.” (Leonardo da Vinci)

Published Author/Artist

My childhood was far from typical, and more times than not it was filled with rejection and turmoil. Labeled a “lost cause” in school I was rarely praised contributing to my seed of insecurity. I vividly remember; the day my fifth grade teacher recognized a talent for writing. It was the first time I had genuinely heard something positive about myself; I started to believe I was worth more than I was. At the end of the school year my teacher said she wouldn’t be surprised to see my name on a published book. I wonder if she realized the profound effect this statement had on me; from that moment on my dream was to become a writer.

My journey into the artistic world started the day I put pen to paper and started to write my final words to my family. I just started to record my raw emotional turmoil in the form of poetry, with the hope my family would understand the pain I was in. With unfiltered honesty, in what I thought was confessional writing, I continued this style leading to the publication of my second book “The Madness: And My Decent Into It Book #1 of 4.

After reading various reviews from my first book, I discovered through confessional writing I was able to reach people who found solace and meaning in my words. Knowing poetry is a dying art I wanted to try and reach a wider audience and entered the world of blogging, this gave me another outlet to do what I was unable to do in real life; exposing my vulnerable side. The sad reality is no one knows the real me, but for some reason when I lay it all out there for any of my readers I am showing the real me.

Unfortunately as my dream was becoming a reality I just stopped writing and went dark. My passion for confessional writing as an art form sparked back to life when I came across a quote by Leonardo da Vinci “Painting is Poetry which is seen and not heard and Poetry is a painting which is heard and not seen.” This quote had a profound effect on rekindling my dream, and where the motto “Where the visual and the verbal become one.” when my poetry and artwork can work in harmony into what is referred to as ekphrastic poetry.

Since childhood I have always loved loving comics, although I only had a few drawings of Comic Book Fan Art on my ETSY shop. I was contacted by Wizard World, extending an invitation to the 2015 Minneapolis Comic Con held in May. I started to focus on drawing comic book fan art.

After two back to back hospitalizations, being on FMLA from my job with my mental illness getting worse I had to hand in my notice of resignation due to medical conditions. With my 403B cashed out, I knew it was only a matter of time before everything falls apart; I am realistic on my expectations for how long the SSD process would take. My families inevitable decent into poverty, my panic over this fact led me back down to the life I lived growing up in order to bring money in. A good friend offered to pay for a dozen tables at Wizard World if I went legit. My depression was so severe I decided on a suicide date of September 3rd after the show in Chicago. After three shows I was either breaking even or losing money I didn’t have. I thought my show in St. Louis would be my last, I ended up in the hospital after an attempted suicide. The show in Minneapolis in 2016 was a make or break show, I knew I needed to make enough money to pay rent, buy food and still have money left over to continue doing shows. The events that took place during that show was humbling, humiliating, educational, the worst out of it all was due to my ignorance and desperation I didn’t make a dime, right now the ticking clock of shittyness to come is deafening, and a taste of my own medicine of being annihilated on every front of the internet, I shut everything I could down including making this blog private.

One of the few things I am proud of is the ability to be a true confessional writer; regardless of the negative feedback and damaged relationships my writings caused I continued to stay true to myself. I consider Justin Furstenfeld and Mike Rosenberg to be the greatest confessional writers of our time, like my fifth grade teacher these two individuals honesty, and the impact they had on my life is the same impact I want my words to impact other people’s lives.

In the end my goal is to use the written word to inspire, challenge, and help others who suffer through mental illnesses and personality disorders and feel no one understands them. To know somewhere in the world someone is reading something I have written which impacts their life no matter how small is a greater reward then any amount of money. To be remembered is the closest we can come to immortality.

 

 

 

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Comments
  1. Patricia says:

    This is an awesome website!

  2. tinadot says:

    thinking society eh? (<– notice the Canadianism lol)

  3. bip0larGrL says:

    Awsome site! Thanks 4 liking my blog post:)

  4. Eden says:

    Hello Tim,
    Thank you for stopping by my blog today, and for the comments you left there. Blessings,
    Eden

  5. gmomj says:

    I just read your bio, something I always wish I do before posting a comment but almost never do.
    I’m a parent myself of 6 almost all grown. I have a grandchild I am currently in custody of.
    My motto is “go toward the light even when all around you is darkness and mayhem and grab everyone you can and drag them with you.” Nice to meet you and you sound so important can I get in the bucket????

  6. Niki Hampton says:

    Thanks for the tip about the site. Thank you also for visiting my blog. I love your honesty and openness.

  7. “Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

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