Archive for the ‘Abusive Parents’ Category

There is a place we go

Where we cannot find light

Our eyes adjusted

To our own twisted Plight

We hide in places

Live with fright

Within this never-ending night

We roam

We seek

In search of light

Mind to fucked to speak

Within his never-ending night

We reach our hands up high

Seeking comfort from imaginary hands

We find nothing

Only the pain

Which never went away

No end in sight

Within this never-ending night

Scream all you want

No one will hear

Reality is no one is there

I seek

Until my knees are weak

Reality setting in

I have traveled nowhere

Trapped within

My suffocating box

I am in this never-ending night

A feeble prayer

To a God who was never there

The time has come

Within this box

My mind rots

No air

No light

No hope

Only madness

Brought on from my never-ending night

My cold dark stare

nothing is something

Better

Than living in my never-ending night

In my hands

I hold the key

My only freedom

Only escape

From my never-ending night

One blissful pull

I enter into the light

It amazes me how quickly I can be beaten down. How easily I can fall apart. How little I can handle. How easily I can lie to myself. Its borderline delusional laced with denial. Happiness and hope are things I cannot know, let alone ever have. I want the acceptance, of knowing things will never be alright. I want the comfort that comes from embracing this reality. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to think. Life was better when I was dead inside. It is so much better than to continue living a lie.

I have been receiving valued advice on how I should be careful what I write considering everything that is going on. I cannot even keep track, of how many times in the past this same advice has been given to me. I wasn’t able to follow it then, and I can’t follow it now. I have never understood the point of writing poetry or music just for the sake of it. Art in any form is meant to be personal and hold personal meaning, this is how art manifests itself into a ting of beauty. I won’t write unless the very essence of who I am, and how I feel can bleed out into my words, if I do anything less than this I am rejecting my true self. Being rejected by others is horrible enough, but if you reject who you really are you will spend the rest of your life living amongst the chameleons and the fools who hide behind masks and perceived social norms.

I have lived my entire life as a chameleon, and played the fool behind the mask. I had difficulty socializing with my peers, so I had to figure out who I needed to be in order for them to accept me. Living my entire life in this manner, can I honestly say I know who I REALLY am? The person I feel I am is the person I have been told I am over and over again. This only reinforces my chameleon colors, and motivates me to build better masks. I cannot stand the reflection of the man of clay you shaped to feel worthless. I know those who are saying these are victim statements, which just by saying such a thing does not validate the individuals real feelings.

The only time I have ever felt safe and free enough to be the real me is when I write. It is therapeutic to write books and post honesty in its purist form for the world to see. The thought of altering the only real honesty and relationship I have in my life, because of the fear of my soon to be ex-wife using my words against me, is just reinforcing the very self-hatred I am trying to overcome. If a judge were to decide that my children shouldn’t be with me because of who I really am, than I obviously have no business being a parent. I do not fear this will be the outcome.

I consider anything I write to be confessional in nature. I am always honest and true to myself regardless of any criticisms or judgments I may receive. I have paid a regrettable price for things I have written in the past. I haven’t spoken to my father in over four years for many reasons, but a recurring reason was a poem I wrote in one of my books. This in of itself sucks, but I feel the outcome was inevitable regardless. My biggest regret is the hurt, pain, and rift I created in regards to a family reunion. I felt hurt and rejected by my family for showing the real me, but in reality it was how I reacted to those feelings instead of thinking like a logical adult I acted like a child. This only made the situation worse and resulted in hurting the ones who were actually supporting me. Although it has taken some time it is one of those valuable life lessons I have learned about taking real ownership for my actions without the use of the word “but”.

The only true negative about such pure honesty is knowing I will be single for the remainder of my years.

As everyone is aware, I sent an e-mail to Satan last week (not the one I posted.) In this letter I clearly stated that Satan is to no longer use B’s sisters as bargaining chips to get B to see FF, and that under no circumstances is she allowed speaking to or seeing FF. I had this feeling all week that when Satan picked B up for their semi-monthly visit yesterday that Satan would surprised her by brining her to see FF and her sisters. So B left for her visit, and at 7pm I receive a text from Satan saying “just wanted to let you know that I brought FF and the girls to see B, and everything went fine.” The minute I read this I was consumed with such hatred and anger. I shouted out “I f’ing knew it!” I went and showed my wife the text, and we were both heated.

When B got home we asked her to come talk to us. We asked her if she knew FF was going to be there and she said no. We inquired further and asked how this whole thing came about. She said that Satan and her grandma picked her up and headed off to the Eden Prairie mall. When they got into the parking lot they told B that FF and the girls are inside and asked her if she wanted to go in and see them. At first Satan said that her grandma would take the sisters while she and FF talked to B, and that she might get to see her sisters. My daughter sat out there for 45 minutes and finally agreed as long as she was able to see her sisters the whole time, and that there is to be no talk of the past. After Satan asked FF for is permission on this, she agreed and off they went.

I am just really at a loss with this whole situation. I made it crystal clear to Satan that B is not allowed to see FF, and I feel like she did this out of spite and too show me that she can do whatever she wants. The last time I told her that B is not allowed seeing or speaking to FF; she told me “you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do on my visits.” I should have listened to my gut and just told her that B is no longer going to be allowed to go with her on visits anymore, and then we could deal with it in court. There are so many things about this situation which pisses me off, but the worst is that Satan and her grandma put B in a lose lose situation. All B wants is to see her sisters, she is sitting in the parking lot with her mom and grandma watching her waiting for her response, and her sisters are right inside. How do you put an 11 yr old child, your own daughter, in such a manipulative situation?

I am proud of B, that she told Satan that she wouldn’t go in unless she could see her sisters the whole time and that the past is not to be brought up, but she should never have been put into this situation to begin with. I am happy for B that after two and a half years she was finally able to see her sisters.

My wife thinks it is my job to stop this, to enforce my beliefs of B’s well being as her sole custody provider. She thinks I should contact the courts to find out what rights I have to enforce B not seeing FF. I think now that FF has seen B that I have nothing left to do but sit back and allow the FF/Satan family to do as they please with my daughter twice a month. This is only the beginning, now two Sunday’s a month will be spent at Satan house with FF, then it will be asking for B to spend the night Saturday nights prior to her scheduled Sunday’s , then it will be can we have B for a weekend. Then it will be Satan back in court asking for her parenting time back to every other weekend spent at their house. My wife thinks if we do not stop it now, and B has spent many of times with FF that we will have no ground to stand on. But if we stop it now we may be able to stop the snowball from rolling down the hill.

I am not sure what the proper next step to take is. I don’t know if I should not allow B to see her mom anymore. As I stated above the issue has always been that Satan was manipulating B and consistently hurting her. No matter how many times B told Satan that she wants to see her sisters, but not FF, Satan kept pushing, and dangling that carrot in front of her. Now that she has seen FF and her sisters then what am I trying to prevent? FF is going to always be on his best behavior until he realizes he can go back to mistreating her. I disagree with my wife on stopping the visits, because I would have no legs to stand on in court. It’s shitty that Satan put B into this tough situation, but I am also happy she was finally able to see her sisters. Maybe this is what I should be focusing on.

Satan,

I feel we need to put to rest the issue of our daughter (B,) her sisters, and F**k Face (FF). When B was in therapy, she opened up her true feelings. She has not worrying what she would say to us or to you. From those sessions the child psychologist gave her recommendation that B should not have anything to do with FF. When we sat in front of the referee in court and he asked you what future you saw with B, you indicated you wanted to work toward more time with her and you wanted her to be part of your family including FF. Referee M clearly stated that you need to focus much of your energy on you and B, on B and her sisters, but seeing FF was not an important piece to that, furthermore referee M indicated that if you wanted to create a better relationship with B it would be in your best interest to find a therapist that specializes in reunification, then down the line possibly FF could be involved, and only if B herself ever felt comfortable.

It is unfortunate that you feel you need to control B by using one of the worst times of her life against her by forcing her to have to “patch things up” with the person who caused her so much fear and pain that she no longer wanted to live in your home. If FF had beaten her, would you still feel she should work things out with him in order to see her sisters? If FF had raped her, would you still feel she should work things out with him in order to see her sisters? But because the pain he caused her was emotional and mental, that should simply be forgotten and swept away in order to please your and FF’s wants? By telling B that she will not see her sisters until they are 18, if she does not work things out with FF, is manipulative and just as emotionally hurtful to her as the original harm. You are simply de-validating her hurt and feelings by forcing her to be around someone she truly does not want to. What if you could only see B if my wife (N) and I were there with you the whole time, would you feel comfortable with that? Or you can see B once the three of us have sat down together worked out all our differences and all became best friends, then you could see her with us there, would that feel like a good compromise for you?

I wish B had the courage to tell you her truest of feelings, but she doesn’t. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell her she can be honest with you, she has made it clear she won’t do it. She told me about her phone conversation with you on Monday, and then her talk with FF. I have made it clear to you several times that she is to have no contact with FF. B Has made it clear she wants nothing to do with FF, yet you corner her in a situation where she has no choice but to speak with him. She fears that if she told you no that you would stop coming to see her. When we were talking to B she said well I guess it kind of makes sense a little if mom wants me to see her and FF first. Hear that “IF MOM WANTS ME” not what B wants, not her needs first. If in fact FF, and you, have changed why is it still what FF wants before your daughter? If in fact he has changed so much, what exactly is the harm in B seeing her sisters once a month for 4 hours? If he in fact changed and was sorry and loved her so much why would he still keep her away from her sisters? This does not sound like a man who has changed, or a man that loves her.

The things you BOTH are doing to B does not show remorse or love, it shows something so far from those things, yet you both still do it. Letting her see her sisters is not a separation of FF and his daughters that is the reality that you have a daughter that leads a separate life, should you choose to be a part of her life, then it is HER life you are entering it is not her entering YOUR life. You may want your whole family together Satan, but in reality that is not what B wants. After I quietly listened to B tell me the whole conversation with you and then with FF I asked her one thing, I said if your sisters did not exist would you WANT to see and work things out with FF. She looked at me, smiled a bit and said well NO. I find it funny how the minute I mention taking you to court you all of a sudden want a relationship with B, after you had just written her off. I find it funny that once child support became a reality all of a sudden FF wants to talk to B. My personal opinion is if it were not for child support FF would still not want anything to do with B, and I am sure you would still be out of her life. One of my theories for why you are manipulating her in this way has nothing to do with FF being “sorry” and “loving” B, but has everything to do with child support. I have a serious question to ask you; if I agreed to no longer collect child support from you in exchange for you never seeing B again would you take it? Or if I changed it and said I will suspend child support in exchange for B being able to see her sisters, and a guarantee she would never see FF again, would you take that? This is an honest serious proposition.   

B simply wants to know her sisters, I can not for the life of me, understand how you can feel it is right to keep that form her, dangle them in front of her to entice her to like your husband, that Satan is yet another example of why we are so very protective of B when it comes to all of this.

As her father and her sole physical guardian at this point in B’s life I am put in a position to make a decision, I don’t like to do this, I want B to feel like she has choices and learns how to make the right choices, but she is so easily manipulated by you and so badly wants to see her sisters that she is stuffing away all those hurt, sad, angry feelings in order to achieve this. I know this because she lets all those stuffed away feelings out to us, and we are the ones holding her for two hours while she sobs, and hurts, and hates you, and hates all of this, and worst of all hates that she was ever honest about FF, because if she had just taken it from him then none of this would have ever happened and she could see her sisters. She said something to me on Sunday that will stick with me for a very long time. She told me she hated her life. As a parent this is the worst thing you can hear coming from your child’s mouth. To me this broke my heart, but you will read this and think nothing of it, because you have only shown that you and your husband’s feelings come first and B’s last. You wonder why I have so much “hate in my heart” towards you, it is because your and FF’s actions has caused my daughter unspeakable pain. I love my children, and as a result I can hold no respect for somebody who has caused them so much suffering. As her parent I have to step in at this point and put a stop to this.

B is not allowed to be around FF at this point. Until either she attends some therapy, or we see that she and her feelings are being put first, and she is more emotionally stable on the situation. I will determine when that is based on what B shows us. It would be a very big gesture of change and love for B to be able to see her sisters once a month for 4 hours; this in no way will cause any damage to your daughter’s relationship with FF. I would assume the girls know they have a sister that lives with her dad, so seeing their sister once in a while is not some crazy emotionally harmful event; many many kids out there have the same type of family structure. If you decide that she can see the girls, please give us advanced warning of when you will bring them. If you decide that you still believe she should not see them then we will deal with that as B expresses her feelings about it. And if you decide she can not see them then I ask you, for B sake, do not discuss her sisters with her anymore, as she always comes home very upset after those discussions.

B is NOT allowed to speak to FF. You should have run that by me before you did it. If that happens again, or you continue to hang her sisters over her head in order to manipulate her, we will be going back to supervised phone conversations. If you continue to manipulate her using her sisters to see FF, then I will cut off all communication between you and her. Yes you were awarded to see B two Sundays a month and you can take me back to court, but I am sure Referee M will see your tactics for what they are. I wonder what he would think about you not letting her see her sisters for two years, after he chastised you for that very same decision. I wonder what he will say when you use her sisters as a manipulative bargaining chip in order for her to see FF, who is the last person she ever wants to see, and who her therapist and family members have stated she shouldn’t see him. I wonder what he will think when B asks you what if she doesn’t want to see FF, and your response is she will have to wait until they are 18. When she said she doesn’t want to see FF your response is “well you will just need to wait?”  I no longer want to continue this merry-go-round subject, make your decision and then let’s be done with this.

As for mothers day Satan, just because you are her biological mom doesn’t mean you are the “mom” in her life. N has and always will be the mom she turns to for anything and everything. You really need to earn that title, because you tossed that away long ago when you tossed aside your daughter like trash. You know very little about her life or who she is. You are not the one holding her when she is hurting; in fact you are the one causing these hurt feelings. N has been there for all those things, and N is the one along with me who needs to console her pain caused by her own mother. N knows everything about B in every way. This is what makes a mom, and sorry but you haven’t cut it for many years. The B you see for 8 hours a month is NOT the real B.

Finally you and FF claim to be religious, but what would Jesus or God think of what you are doing to your daughter which according to things you have said or wrote was in His name. Would God/Jesus approve of your and FF’s behavior??

I was going to write about my oldest son today, but I am just filled with to much internal conflict, and yucky emotions. My daughter (B) had one of her monthly visits with her mom yesterday, and as usual it didn’t go to well. I am disturbed over this whole situation. I know I have written about this several times, but just writing about it eases some of my intense emotions over this subject. I am also frustrated over the next “Dylan Thomas” book I am writing, which is causing me to feel torn over what I want to do with this blog. I think I may need to take a step back and focus on this book, but I have a hard time letting this blog go.

Last night when B was dropped off from her visit with her mom, she ended up crying for over two hours, because she was so upset and hurt over her moms’ refusal to let her see her sisters. I am not really sure how the conversation over this came up, perhaps B just asked her mom again why she can’t see them. When her mom started seeing her again she told B that she wouldn’t be allowed to see her sisters until she agreed to see her step-father (Fuck Face.) B wants nothing to do with FF because of all the shit he has done to her. The excuse she gave B last night was she can’t see her sisters because she doesn’t want to “separate” FF from their two girls. This probably means the same thing, just worded differently, but that is not how B understood it.

B told her again that she doesn’t want to see FF, so does this mean that she can’t see her sisters until they are 18. Her mothers’ response was “well looks like you will just have to wait then.” She couldn’t stop crying, she said she doesn’t even know what they look like, and if she saw them walking on the street, she wouldn’t even recognize them. She said she doesn’t understand why her mom is doing this to her, and she can’t deal with how painful this is. She then uttered a phrase I had hoped none of my children would ever say; she said that she hates her life. I know pre-teen and teenagers utter that phrase often, but I could tell by her pain that she truly meant it.

Needless to say this caused me to see red. I am very protective of my children, and the fact that someone is causing my little princess deep emotional pain, just doesn’t sit well with me. I have grown so sick and tired over how much agony her mother has caused her over the past six years. I just simply can’t understand how her mother can so easily hurt her without even a second thought. B has been put through tremendous pain over this situation, but I have never seen her cry and hurt so much as I did last night. I was enraged over this; I did the impulse thing and texted her mom. I told her “I hoped I was wrong about religion, because I know there is a special place in hell for sick twisted people such as yourself, and hell is exactly where you belong.”

It is bad enough that her mom shows no interest in her life beyond there two four hour visits a month, but not allowing her to see her sisters is just plain evil. B is so sick with depression she didn’t even want to get out of bed this morning and felt so sick she didn’t even want to go to school. I am waiting for a call from the nurse to come pick her up. I really should have just let her stay home. I feel so powerless over this, and I want to fix this for her, so she doesn’t need to hurt so much.

I am also torn and frustrated over the “Dylan Thomas” book I am working on. I had already decided to not write a blog post everyday so I had more time to work on this book, but I am finding this is not curing the problem. Writing these books is rather difficult, and requires much more time then I have. The problem here is, if I have time and I can’t find the magic then I end up just staring at the computer. I need this magic to write these damn things, and it frustrates me that I cannot just summon this magic at will. I am only four pages in and even this has taken me four hours. The “Dylan Thomas” format is written in four or more line stanza’s where the last word always rhymes. Writing a learning book in this style is very difficult. I captured the magic yesterday, but lost it in short order. I was devastated over this, because I have been trying to conjure up this magic for over a month. To have it, and then lose it is tearing me apart.

I am thinking I may need to put my blog aside, so I have more time to work on this book. I will still try to write posts when they come to me, but I am not going to make this a priority right now. This makes me a bit sad, but I need to get these books off to an agent. I have a better chance of success with the DT series than I do with this blog. I apologize to my regular readers, but I promise I will write at least one post a week.

Every time I think I can no longer be surprised by my daughters’ mom Melissa Fleury, she proves to out due herself. This is the first time I have used her actual name in a post; as you know I have been lovingly referring to her as Satan. She was supposed to pick my daughter up for their four-hour visit two Sundays ago. It was my wife’s birthday weekend so we were not sure if the change would work or not. I told her I would let her know Sunday morning if we had a change in plans. I texted Satan in the morning letting her know she could take her. I never received a response back so I kept checking with my daughter to see if she had heard from her. It was getting close to the pick-up time so I decided to ask my daughter once again. She told me that her mom text her and can’t see her this week because she was up all night praying and is too tired to visit. Upon hearing this I was a bit shocked, but then started laughing over the absurdness of the excuse.

Melissa is a perfect example of religion gone wrong. She has always been in my opinion lacking normal intelligence. Because of this void of a brain it had been difficult dealing with her in the past, but once religion got a hold of her it totally twisted her up. Throughout the whole time she wasn’t seeing her daughter she often referred to how God was trying to “teach” my daughter a lesson by not allowing my daughter to see her and her sisters. She has referred to how she has been praying that our daughter would just admit that her husband was not mistreating her when in reality he had. It just amazes me how a semi-functional human being can be totally misguided by faith. She has gotten to the point of extremism.  

It is because of these things and others I had to stop them from talking on the phone without it being monitored. When she wrote her final letter to our daughter saying she was no longer going to see her anymore she stated how she had to pray really hard before the answer came (I am assuming from God) to her which was to no longer see her. I am not a Christian, but I am pretty sure God would not condone a mother abandoning her first-born daughter.

Either way this woman is insane. To say you cannot come and see your daughter because you are hung over from praying is just borderline psychotic. She still had to get up and take care of her other two daughters, but couldn’t take four hours out of her day to see her first-born child, which is much easier to care for then her younger daughters. The sad part is my daughter thought this was a normal acceptable excuse. I know she has come to grips with the fact that her mom is not a very good mom, but still. I think part of the reason she wasn’t coming was because there was a Green Bay Packer game on Sunday night. Her husband (Fuck Face) is from Wisconsin so he makes a big deal out of these games. I think he didn’t want to have to watch the girls so he made Melissa stay home. It has been one year and eight months since she has seen her sisters and this would have been a perfect time to allow her to see her them. I know my daughters’ youngest sister was just a baby the last time she saw her, and the other was only two. I am pretty sure they are unaware they even have a sister.

I am on the fence whether she was really up all night praying and was too tired to come and see her. The excuse just seems so out there and unbelievable… which is why I tend to believe it.

Satan’s Manipulation Tactics

Satan is up to her old manipulative and diabolical tricks again. My daughter had a visit with her last weekend. She is using manipulation tactics to try and get our daughter to see her husband Fuck Face. Satan is using my daughters’ sisters as the tool to achieve this. She has been chipping away at her for the past ten months, saying she can only see her sisters is if she agrees to see Fuck Face with them. She tells her she cannot see them because Fuck Face believes she will bad mouth him in front of them. The only way she can see them is if he is there to monitor. It has been a year and seven months since she has seen them.

My daughter was severely traumatized by this man; he verbally and emotionally abused her while she was living with them over two years ago. He would mistreat her anytime her mom was not around. When she would complain Fuck Face would say she was lying and she would get punished for saying something. The punishments they gave her were severe. They would confine her to her room for a month at a time. She was not able to leave her room for any reason. Meals were served to her on a tray, and she was not even able to bring the plates down; somebody picked them up from her room. There were other punishments, but this was the major punishment which really got under my skin.

There was another time Fuck Face was throwing bottle caps at her while she was doing the dishes. She asked him to stop and he just laughed away and kept doing it, then laid into her because she started to cry. He would find any reason to punish and aggressively attack her. As an example; my daughter was walking up the stairs, and as she was walking up she woke up her mom. She was punished to her room punishment, and had to clean the entire house. In fact I do not think there was a week that went by where she was not on house cleanup.

While she was living with them, she complained all the time he was mistreating her. When I would confront them about this they would call her a liar. He would tell me all these untrue horrible things she said about me. When I told him these things were untrue he said “see see she is a compulsive liar.” They would tell me the only reason she is saying this is because she wanted to live with me. I figured this would have stoped once she moved in with me. I feel like shit for ever doubting what she was telling me.

He must have enjoyed the mental mind fuck he was doing to her, because he couldn’t even stop after she moved in with me. I started to believe everything she was telling me when she still complained of mistreatment on her every other weekend visits,. The final occurrence in March of 09 was the straw that broke the camels back. She came home very upset saying Fuck Face called her a sin child, and unlike her sisters who were born into love, and that is why they are better than her. He told her “you wouldn’t want to have a kid like you would you?” I confronted them; telling them this behavior stops now! I demanded Fuck Face no longer be left along with my daughter, because this is when these things are happening. Satan said that is fine, she was no longer welcomed over there. She has not been back since.

In November Fuck Face sent me a text asking to speak with her (after he found out he may have to pay child support.) When I told her this she started to cry and shiver. She said if she says no he will come and get her, because he knows when she is home alone. She made me promise her I would protect her from him. I have lived up to this promise until now. How do I combat what Satan is doing? I knew eventually if she kept hanging this carrot of seeing her sisters in front of her she would finally break down and agree to see him. My daughter stayed strong and would not agree to this. She would even ask why she can’t just see her sisters without Fuck Face. Her mom would just say “you just can’t.” Yesterday she finally caved in.

I am at a loss for what to do. I cannot control Satan’s tactics; even if I confronted her about this she would just tell me to fuck off. She does not want to see him but says there is no other way she can see her sisters. Should I not allow her to go with if Fuck Face is there? Her therapist wrote a letter to the courts saying it is not in her best interest to see him. The Judge said she should also not see him, until Satan and my daughter go though intense therapy together. I know what there agenda is to get to the point where they do not have to pay child support. I mean c’mon her mom didn’t want to see her until she was threatened with the realization she was going to have to pay child support. I just need to know what the best thing to do is.

After over 90 days the court order has arrived delivering the final verdict in the battle over good and evil. This is the culmination of a battle spanning 11 years. The order is as follows.

  • Physical Custody: I have been awarded sole physical custody of my daughter. (Victory)
  • Legal Custody: We will continue to share 50/50 legal. (Defeat)
  • Visitation: Satan will have visitation on the second and fourth Sunday of every month from 3-7pm. (Victory)
  • Holidays: I was awarded all holidays. (Victory)
  • Child Support: Satan is ordered to pay $327.00 a month. This order is back dated to January 1st 2010. This puts Satan $1,135.00 in rears or 3.5 months delinquent. (Victory)
  • Health Care: Satan is ordered to pay 42% of all unpaid and unreimbursed medical bills. (Defeat)

I knew I was going to be awarded sole physical, but I was disappointed over legal. In two years; Satan has attended zero softball games. In the same amount of time she has attended only 2 basketball games, missing all her playoff games including the championship game. She has not attended a single school function including conferences. She shows no interest in her daughter’s life. I figured with this and the fact we can not get along would cause the judge to award me full legal. I am still okay with the decision since her mother will not attend any of these things in the future.

We disagreed on visitation time. Satan wanted her from 4-8pm, but since she can never be on time to either pick or drop her off 8pm is way to late. During the school year my daughter needs to get her choirs done, and be ready for bed so she is well rested. When we were in court the judge asked Satan why she was unable to do 3-7pm “because she had other obligations.” I found it funny when the judge mentions this in the final document.

Holidays were a given since Satan requested holidays not to be sent with her, but with her grandmother. It is sad Satan does not want to spend holidays with her own daughter.

The child support was huge for me since the only reason her mother came back into her life was to try to avoid paying child support. In court she told the judge she felt she should not have to pay anything to support her daughter. Satan was willing to give up legal and physical custody as long as I didn’t ask her to pay child support. She requested she only pay $100.00 and I was asking she pay $300.

When I received the order I sent her a text just to make sure we were on the same page. The order stated to send child support payments to the court. There is no order currently opened for collections through the county. I informed her of this and explained she needs to send the check to me. Her response was of course rude as hell, saying she will send the money where the order states. I again tried to explain there was no order open, so it was pointless. She continued to be difficult, so I asked her if she would rather have the county collect, or would she see reason. She threw it in my face with more rudeness and disrespect.

My wife pointed out the next day, the order was back dated to January 1st 2010. I sent a text to both Satan and her husband Fuck Face. I explained in there, it was a great decision to choose the courts to collect. I then went into how much they were in rears, and the collection repercussions of going through the courts. In the state of Minnesota the repercussions of non-payment goes anywhere from severe delinquency status on credit report all the way to criminal nonpayment. I ended the text pointing out currently they fall under five of the categories.

I immediately received a text from Fuck Face saying they now had no problem sending me the money, and how important it was we worked together. I have been trying to communicate with these two douches over the last two years and I am either ignored or given some dank attitude. I just responded with I will see it when I believe it.

I need to see if with sole physical custody if I can keep my daughter away from Fuck Face. My daughter made me promise her she would never have to see him again. Satan is using my daughters sisters as a tool to force her into seeing Fuck Face, and my daughter is all torn up about it. It has been 1 year and 4 months since she has seen her sisters.

I am sure this will not be the last drama to come from this ongoing battle. I do know one thing I no longer have to fear Satan will use my daughter against me. She no longer has that power over my daughter or myself. It is a great feeling for both of us.

I feel compelled to do a quick Satan update, because I am just steaming over her manipulation and terror. This Sunday was her visitation with my daughter, (in case you are new, she sees her two Sunday’s a month for four hours.) Satan texted me last week, and asked if she could keep her until 8:45pm last night. I figured I would use this time to ask her some questions, which she had been ignoring me on.

I texted her awhile back because she is not paying her part of the therapy bill. I can no longer send my daughter to therapy, because Satan’s half of the bill is getting larger, and if she chooses not to pay then the therapist will start collection proceeding on me. I also asked her if she was going to let her see her sisters soon. It has been 1 year and 3 months since she had last seen them.

I waited and waited with no response. I texted her again and asked her if she was going to ignore me yet again. She texted me back saying her daughter threw up in the car, and she could not respond. She said is that okay with me, clearly being sarcastic. I texted her back, and said that is fine, but if you have time to text me a rude response then you can text me the answers to my question.

About an hour later she texted me and said when and if she pays the therapist is none of my business, and neither is when she allows my daughter to see her sisters. At this point I am fuming with hate and anger. I respond and say it is my business whether or not she pays the therapist, and it is my business when she lets her see her sisters because I am her caretaker and it affects her negatively. Her response was what her and fuck face do with their daughters is none of my business. I did not respond, I did not give her an answer on whether she could keep her until 8:45.

The hate in me wanted to tell her that the court order states she can only have her until 8pm and that is what I am going to enforce. I did not do this because the person I would be hurting most would be my daughter. I figured even if I said she could not keep her she would anyway. Sunday was a school night, and I was not happy about it since my daughter would be rushed to get her nighttime duties done and would be tired for the next day.

Well 8:45 came and went, and they were not here. My daughter called my wife and told her they were lost and would be late; she sounded upset. She got home around 9:40 and immediately asked if she was going to see her therapist on Tuesday. We had to inform her that she can not see her therapist, due to finances. She said she was upset and wanted to talk to someone. She feels most comfortable talking to my wife since she has been more of a mother to her than her real mom.

She stated that she did not like how her mom always ends their visits with something sad. She said that Satan asked her if she felt comfortable with Fuck Face and her sisters being there next mothers day. Satan immediately said, nevermind you are not ready. This upset my daughter because she does not want to see Tim, and she is afraid to say anything negative towards her mom. She fears if she says anything bad then her mom will stop seeing her again.

The fucked up thing is Satan will not allow my daughter to see her sisters unless Fuck Face is with. She is using her sisters as a bargaining chip. The only way she can see them, is if she sees him. My daughter is petrified of this man and wants nothing to do with him, but so desperately wants to see her sisters. I know eventually she will crack and agree to this, or Satan will just show up on her visitation time with Fuck Face. I do know one thing, I will deny any visitation involving her step-dad.

I just hate how much pain this woman is causing my daughter. The sickest thing is she is her mother, and she knows what she is doing is causing her immense pain. I can not imagine trying to do one of my children like that. Things were so much better when this douche was not around. My daughter was finally becoming strong and happy. Ever since Satan showed up in January and wanted to see her again, my daughter has gone downhill.

The only reason her mom is in her life is because I took her to court to get full custody and child support. Once they saw I was seeking child support they suddenly wanted to see her again. I know the only reason Fuck Face wants to see her is so he can intimidate her to start spending every other weekend at their house so they can decrease child support. This shit disgusts me to no end. I want so badly to just sit my daughter down and show her all the texts I have saved. I want to try to show her that her mom does not care about her; she only cares about not paying child support. This poor little girl tries so hard to get her mom to truly love and care about her. The saddest part is she will never get that.

I am still waiting for the court’s decision on this matter. When we went to court the judge was clearly pissed at her mothers behavior, and called her out. The whole thing seemed so cut and dry. I figured a decision would come very quickly. We went to court on March 3rd and still nothing. My fear is by the time the judge revisits the paperwork, the actual court hearing will be a distant memory. He has 90 days to make his decision, so I think that means we should have a decision in no more than three weeks.

Yesterday the epic battle took place on neutral ground between the evil whore beast Satan. I was a nervous wreck prior to our stand-off. I had my wife, and my aunt in-laws Karen, and Gail for support. We were wondering who would show up with Satan for support; would it be her mother, or her husband fuck face? I thought it would be her mother, she used to be an allies until she started seeing Satan. It took all of one conversation to draw her to the dark side. I thought it would be fuck face, but my wife said “there is no way he will show his face, after all the accusations.” Satan’s allies was none other than the fuck face, the dirty little bastard showed his face.

I had an 18 minute speech prepared aimed at sending the demon back to the pits of hell. I was discouraged to find out, I would not have an option to read it. The referee started off the hearing by asking us why we were there, where we agreed, and where we disagreed. This threw me off, so I missed some key points on where we disagreed. This area was how Satan set up visitation during holidays. Satan requested our daughter spend Christmas eve, and every other Easter with her grandma. My response was if Satan herself did not want to spend holidays with her daughter, then she can not request I allow her to spend them with her grandma. I have always allowed my daughter to see her extended family, so it is not really an issue. I just thought it was stupid she requested such things. I also forgot that we disagreed on monitoring phone calls, which due to her serpent tongue this is desperately needed.

I gave my speech for why I felt I deserved full legal custody, and the beast gave hers. I am unsure which way he will rule in this area. He asked if he did not award full legal custody would it not be in the best interest of the minor child. Satan said it would be in the best interest of minor child, and stated, although we have had our up’s and down’s we have always managed to work things out. I disagreed; I pointed out to the referee how many times we have had to go to court, this should show we can not get along. I also pointed out that we do not like each other and communicating is extremely difficult. I feel there is some hope this will be awarded to me.

On the issue of child support the referee asked Satan directly “do you feel you should not have to pay child support?” Satan responded with “yes…I mean no…well not very much.” I could tell from reading the referee’s non verbal he thought the answer was stupid. He did state she will not have much of a choice in this manner. I asked the referee to base child support off of Satan’s potential income, before she decided she no longer wanted to work, she was making over $20.00 an hour roofing. Satan responded with “roofing is too dangerous; so I don’t want to do that anymore.” The referee asked her how much he should use for an hourly wage, she stated $12.00 an hour. She stated she has no degree, and no speakable skills and that finding a job would be nearly impossible. The referee asked her how much fuck face made. She responded with “I Don’t know.” He looked at her and said “you don’t know?” She skated around the question, and eventually said he works on commission so she isn’t really sure. I finally said “I am sure Satan does not want to pay child support, just like any parent wishes they did not have to pay child support on a child they see four days a year, but it is ridiculous she thinks she does not have to support her daughter.”

I could tell the referee thought she was a compleat douche. If you remember from a prior post, I stated; Satan was requiring me to carry insurance on the minor child, she felt it was not safe for her to not have traditional insurance. This was after she read we could not afford insurance. I pointed out to the referee; it would cost me 54% of my paychecks to insure her on my insurance. He looks at Satan and asks “are you willing to pay half of the medical insurance?” She snickers and says well yea as long as I don’t have to pay child support.

The referee was spending more time asking Satan questions than he was myself. After the hearing Gail told me that was a good sign, she could tell he was seeing right through her bullshit. He was not very nice to her, and told her that she clearly chose her husband over her daughter. There was much more minor insanity, which was said. She told the courts the reason she stopped seeing her daughter in March of 09 was due to me and my accusations of abuse. The referee asked her “well who told Mr. Lundmark about the allegations?” She responded with our daughter.

When it was over she stated her heart hurt over everything that has happened, and she really wants to fix her relationship with her daughter. The referee looked at her and said “how are you going to do that only seeing her 96 hours a year?” He requested she go to reconciliation therapy with her daughter, he made sure to point out she would be paying for that. There really was more said, but this is getting really long. I will not know the referees decision for another 4-6 weeks, waiting for it will be stressful.

I text Satan later that day, and told her if the referee ruled I had to carry our daughter on my insurance, and she agreed to pay half, she would owe me $625.00 a month. Stupid cootch tried to cause me financial stress, and only ended up screwing herself.