Archive for the ‘Ke$ha’ Category

My intended focus is to break down, analyze, and apply my methodology to three single events with the intended outcome of making the correct choice.

1. Do I stay or do I go? I have repeatedly replayed the same haunting moment of seeing my son still and quiet on his bike as he watched me get in the car to go to work. In that moment I could see in his eyes the internal conflict between acceptance and denial that his dad is slipping away. I could see and understand all too well the sadness he was trying so bravely to hide. 

As my mental state continues to deteriate, he now sees a dad who struggles with simple daily living activities. His bravery falls apart.

It is difficult for me to release my sadness and sorrow through the shedding of tears. The only time the outside world can see what I try so hard to hide, is when I cannot hold back my tears. At that moment, just as in this moment writing about it I cannot stop the tears. Many people say that crying is supposed to be this wonderful release of pent up emotions. It’s not like that for me. Tears feel like razor blades running down my face, slicing through self-denial and exposing my weakness and vulnerability. Regardless of how many times I have been told I am selfish and only think of myself, at the end of the day my meaning in life, and my purpose is to not break his heart. I am well aware I will never win the father of the year award. To be honest with you I don’t even know if I’m a good father. Despite what I am told I know I have always tried to be the best dad I could be. 

2.  Time holds no logical meaning anymore. Remembering the day, date, even what year it is. I destroy everything I touch. Answering the question I posed earlier… it is best to leave. As my depression gets worse so does my will to live. 

3.There are only so many pieces someone can be broken into before they are unable to be put back together. I now need to come to terms with the sobering reality that I will become in my own eyes everything I ever swore I wouldn’t. I will become my fathers son. I am desperately seeking, yet fear I will be unable to live with the guilt, or forgive myself.

4. Children are not stone, nor are they steel. They are dirt and clay, molded by the hands of experience. There is no way to reconcile the loss of my son’s happiness and hope due to the harsh reality of my life, which I have viciously infected upon my family. Despite my frequent mental transformations I made the decision to get married and have children; in that single moment I destroyed their lives. I suppose I was caught up in the perceived human need for significance, by my own sense of insecurity. Here is where I cannot deny my selfishness. Broken dolls are meant to walk alone.

In moments like this I want to hide within the minds of Soren Kierkegaard and Albert Camus covering myself in the blanket of Absurdism. Believing all struggles for life is for nothing. There is only birth and death, and everything in between is our feeble attempt to find meaning and purpose. This concept is wonderful, but in the back of my mind I’m burdened with this question. What if birth and death were only two points, that they were inconsequential compared to what happens between them?   

Sitting in the office  iPod on shuffle, I came across an album by Ke$ha “Animal.” Please do not ask me why I had this album on my iPod. I base my decision to purchase albums based off Amazon’s 100 bestseller list. I will get every album on this list about once a month. I am ashamed of this so I am trying to make excuses; but I digress. I am suffering through this album,  not sure if I like it or hate it. I do know if someone was around I would quickly change it out, sorta like Bryan Adams.

This song “Mr. Watson” came on and as I was listening to the lyrics my jaw hit the floor. The song is about a highschool student who wants to fuck her teacher. I could not believe what I was hearing!

If we look through history we will see music is not only a product of current events; it also shapes our morals and ethics. The music of the sixties created the hippie movement. Rap of the nineties promoting violence, and degrading woman; created a more violent society not to mention the destruction of the english language.

I am sure Ke$ha target audience is teenage kids. The lyrics are encouraging kids in highschool to come on to their teachers. We all conform to our media influences whether we realize it or not; children especially mimic their idols. The kids will sing the lyrics and jam to the song; while the message is sinking into their sub-concience. The moment these messages hit our sub-concience we are trapped (this is how we are conformed into consumer slaves.) Here are the lyrics:

Mr. Watson 

(Just can’t wait)
Oh boy I just can’t wait for history class
It’s my favorite hour of the day
(My favorite hour of the day)
Up on the chalkboard I just love your ass(Mmm)
When you write notes it shake,shake,shakes
(shake, shake, shakes)

So when you get back my pop quiz (pop quiz)
What will you think when you read this?

Mr. Watson I Want To Get With You
I Won’t Tell A Soul What We’re Gonna Do
Wanna Get My Hands In Your Khaki Pants
Teacher Teacher whatcha’ gonna do?
(Teacher whatcha’ gonna do?)
‘Coz I am coming on to you

Ha ha ha ha ha

Can’t put my finger on what’s so sexy?
(so sexy)
And why I want you in my bed (or on your desk)?
Is it your power, your authority?
Or for the thrill of being so so bad (So bad)

Can I please see you after class?
There is somthing that I have to ask(ha ha)

Mr. Watson I Want To Get With You
I Wont Tell A Soul What We’re Gonna Do
Want To Get My Hands In Your Khaki Pants
Teacher Teacher whatcha’ gonna do?
(Teacher whatcha’ gonna do?)
‘Coz i am coming on to you

Now I know it’s a fantasy yours
You know (you know)
It’s a fantasy of mine
So why waste time?
Let’s do this thing tonight

Mr. Watson I Want To Get With You
(Mr. Watson I want to sleep with you)
I Wont Tell A Soul What Were Gonna Do
Want To Get My Hands In Your Khaki Pants
Teacher Teacher whatcha’ gonna do?
(Teacher whatcha’ gonna do?)
‘Coz i am coming on to you

(Come and get it)
Mr. Watson I Want To Get With You
I Wont Tell A Soul What Were Gonna Do
Want To Get My Hands In Your Khaki Pants
Teacher Teacher whatcha’ gonna do?
(Teacher whatcha’ gonna do?)
‘Coz i am coming on to you

Come and get it (mmmm)

By: Ke$ha

When I get home I am going to make sure this album is not on my daughters ipod, any parents out there please do the same. It is ultiimatly the parents responsibility to monitor what their kids  listen to, watch, and who their peers are.

What do you think?