Archive for the ‘Raves’ Category

 

Decaying Faces

Decaying faces

Buried in decaying places

Chasing dreams in empty spaces

Stench of death embraces

That which the light erases

Displaying those decaying faces

Replacing the traces

Of those decaying places

Those rearranged decaying faces

Lost alone in decaying places

Those dreams you chased in empty spaces

Reluctant to believe in warm embraces

Popping pills to find something that erases

A lonely walk that leaves no traces

The decay displacing those funny faces

Oddly drawn to those dark places

Where decaying faces erase the traces

Of empty spaces

Where death embraces

The places and empty spaces

Where light erases

The truth behind the decaying faces

Faces changing places

The memories it erases

Funny faces

Empty spaces

Decaying faces

Hidden in decaying places

Embracing those empty spaces

Erasing the traces of happy faces

By: TimLundmark

 

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There is a place we go

Where we cannot find light

Our eyes adjusted

To our own twisted Plight

We hide in places

Live with fright

Within this never-ending night

We roam

We seek

In search of light

Mind to fucked to speak

Within his never-ending night

We reach our hands up high

Seeking comfort from imaginary hands

We find nothing

Only the pain

Which never went away

No end in sight

Within this never-ending night

Scream all you want

No one will hear

Reality is no one is there

I seek

Until my knees are weak

Reality setting in

I have traveled nowhere

Trapped within

My suffocating box

I am in this never-ending night

A feeble prayer

To a God who was never there

The time has come

Within this box

My mind rots

No air

No light

No hope

Only madness

Brought on from my never-ending night

My cold dark stare

nothing is something

Better

Than living in my never-ending night

In my hands

I hold the key

My only freedom

Only escape

From my never-ending night

One blissful pull

I enter into the light

It amazes me how quickly I can be beaten down. How easily I can fall apart. How little I can handle. How easily I can lie to myself. Its borderline delusional laced with denial. Happiness and hope are things I cannot know, let alone ever have. I want the acceptance, of knowing things will never be alright. I want the comfort that comes from embracing this reality. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to think. Life was better when I was dead inside. It is so much better than to continue living a lie.

When I was younger I used to go to raves every weekend. I loved going it was a great time, and raves were a massive part of my business. I was a big shot dealer; raves were a great chance to network, find suppliers, gain new customers, and sell my product. My favorite part of a rave was dropping acid, and getting totally ripped. I was not a huge fan of techno music or people for that manner, but once the LSD kicked in it was a great time. When nighttime shifted from darkness to light; the zombies came out to aimlessly roam about.

 The beginning of the night was filled with love and energy; all raves are different in one way or another, but share a few common traits. They have laser lights shooting all over the place and movie screens with trippy pictures. We all had glow sticks, which were being waved around to the beat of the music; creating a room full of trails. Everyone there was happy, loving, and energetic. The conversations seemed deep and eye opening. There were times you would think you just discovered the meaning to life and just solved the mystery of the cosmos.

 This atmosphere only lasted as long as people were on their way up or riding the peak. The night went on into the early morning once everyone started to come down the atmosphere changed drastically. The music became annoying, the bright lights seemed dull. The people who were once fucked out of their mind just wondered around the warehouse. We looked like mindless zombies with distant facial expressions. The only time this was not the case, is at the outdoor raves. This created a better experience because you were not confined indoors.

 Its funny because out of the hundreds of raves I attended it is not the money, or the high I remember. I only remember how I felt once I laid witness to the after effects. These images still bother me for some reason. I think part of me felt guilty because, I was responsible for most of these people to be in their current depressing state. I tried to rationalize in my mind; perhaps they do not see things as I do.

 I know from experience acid has a shitty comedown. The first part is unbelievable, once the trip kicked in you are taken on a wild ride which culminates with a three hour peak. Acid is not like mushrooms, when you come down you start to get body aches, you can’t sleep, and you desire to get back on to ride the wave one more time. The problem I found with most psychedelics is when you crash from your peak you more; unfortunately after you peak more has little to no affect on you.  

 This zombie syndrome became troubling. I couldn’t get it out of my mind, I felt as if these zombies would turn on me. We finally had to start leaving early to avoid the chance of being attacked. The drive home was equally terrifying. We kept taking turns until we discovered who would make the best “sober” cab. I would never go to a rave again, nor would I drop acid. I just hope these zombies did not turn into addicts as a result of my dealing.

I do not think there is anything wrong with the use of psychedelics, in fact I think it has its benefits. Perhaps psychedelics could be used in a therapy setting, religious meditation, or an in-home vacation.

What do you think…..