Posts Tagged ‘Help’

It has been over two years since my last post; in fact during this time I haven’t written anything. The reasons for this abrupt end are inconsequential at the moment, but will most definitely need to be examined in an attempt to uncover how and why my life has completely unraveled. The life I have known for the last fifteen years is about to come to an end; like all endings there is the inevitable re-birth. This is the saddest ending I have had to endure in my life, and the most terrifying beginning I have ever had to face. I am trying my best to understand and process all these intense emotions, but I find myself drowning unable to find the surface for a much needed breath of hope and understanding. For the last year or so I have been trapped in this painfully unsolvable riddle, and it has been eating me alive. I have experienced undeniable betrayal, but I have chosen to wrap myself in the comfort of lies. I want to believe the lies, so I don’t have to experience this gut wrenching sadness. In the end I was willing to suffer an eternity of sorrow just to hear the whole truth. I could at least begin to forgive and trust, unfortunately this was not the outcome. Ever the fool I would have stayed, but it was the unrelenting daily reminders of these lies and betrayal as if I was the guilty party that ultimately destroyed everything. I can’t sleep or eat, and I have been rotting away with each passing day. The only viable solution I can find to help me through the coming storm is to attempt to write again. I can say that a piece of me died when I stopped writing, yet ironically my writing also played a major role in some of the other pieces of my life to die. I need to return to this medium, because if I don’t I will never find the surface. Each day will continue to be more painful than the last; I need hope that tomorrow will one day hurt less than today. I believe this is my only chance of surviving this re-birth. My fear is discovering I have lost the ability to express myself.

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 I have been writing this blog for nine months now, and although I have amassed a modest following; I would still like to continue to grow. I have no idea how to do this. I have tried advertising this blog on craigslist, which resulted into a few regular readers. I have set up my Facebook account to post a link in my status update every time I do an entry. The problem with Facebook is my posts can get lost in the shuffle. I do generate a few readers everyday from these links. Out of these two methods I have had the most luck with craigslist. I need to figure out how to expose my words to a greater audience. Is there a trick in the trade I am unaware of? I think the advertisement of my website is key to driving traffic, but I can not afford the steep fees for it. I am sure there are free methods or techniques to accomplish this, but I am blind to it. I am sure I could do some research, but research is not one of my strong points. I find going from website to website tedious. The thought of it right now is giving me really bad anxiety. I also have a hard time retaining the information. I learn better from hearing than I do reading.

I do enjoy writing here, but I am beginning to reconsider my time spent on this endeavor. If my words are not being read then they have not been written. I am at a loss for how bloggers become well known. What have these people done differently than what I am doing now? Is it my scattered and random post which keeps people from clicking the “share” links? I wonder if I am not commenting on enough people’s blogs. I know when I comment it puts a link to my blog or website; perhaps I need to dedicate more time to practice this.

My next two poetry books will be finished in a week or two, and I intend on doing readings around the city. I will be getting some business cards printed up to hand out after my set. I am sure this will usher in some new readers. I really think this thing could spread by word of mouth either by clicking on the share buttons, or just recommending it to some friends, but it is tacky to ask your readers to do this. There has to be a few tricks out there.

Any help would be appreciated.