Posts Tagged ‘Poets’

Even though I know very little about it; I just can’t help but love poetry. I love the way I am able to express my inner most emotions and capture them on paper. I am not educated on what the various forms of poetry are; I just write. When I was younger I would write a few then toss them aside, but I would share them with very few people. I would get words stuck in my head, these words were so intense and jumbled I would have to grab a piece of paper and just write them down. I never kept anything that I wrote, but I wish I would have. I also used to write short stories, but sadly those were tossed as well. In college I would get stoned out of my mind and write some kick ass papers. I some how managed to get A’s on 95% of them. I really wish I would have kept them, especially my papers which basically got me kicked out of a Crown College (A private Christian school.) I only just started keeping my writings, and thanks to the wonderful internet I am able to share them with whoever stops by.

I was first turned onto poetry when I read the book “Where The Sidewalk Ends” by Shel Silverstein.  I loved everything about this book. The way it flowed and captured my imagination was fantastic. I vowed in my young dreamer way that someday I would write poetry that would appear in a book. My other inspiration which enthralled me was the Dr. Seuss books. His books seemed so magical. I wanted to write stories that emulated that certain flow which made his books so great (I sort of modeled my children’s books off his style.) I was later influenced by Dylan Thomas, Sylvia Plath, Jim Morrison, and Edgar Allan Poe  to only name a few. These inspirations made me want to be a writer. This was always a dream I have had, but never thought anything would ever come of it. It was one of those things you store deep inside. The only time it is mentioned is in a “wouldn’t that be great” conversation.

As I grew up I still held onto this dream of becoming a writer, but focused very little on honing my craft. I cannot remember the last grade I was in where I was really present and trying. I was a space case who cared little about school; because of this I learned very little about grammar and sentence structure which still stunts me to this day. I remember in fifth grade I wrote a short story about something or other. I handed it in and I remember the teacher making a comment about how someday I would become a writer. I do not remember this teacher’s name, but her words have been the words that have always kept the fire burning inside of me. I bet you she probably doesn’t even remember making that comment; yet I carried her words with me for twenty years, and it has given me hope.

So now here I am. My first book was published by a shady publishing house so I consider that work gone, and I do not consider this as an accomplishment because technically my book wasn’t really published. I self published my next two poetry books which is great but it is not the same feeling as having an agent tell you one of the larger publishing houses has agreed to publish your work. Poetry is a dead art form and there is not much demand for it these days. I think most current poets don’t even bother trying to publish their work; they are just content with it being on their blog, or on one of the many poetry websites. Seeing your work on a computer screen is nothing like seeing your book in print.

I haven’t been able to write any kind of poetry since I published those last two books I think that was back in September. I went through a similar drought after my first book got published. I think what happens is it is emotionally draining process. I tap into the sap of my soul and pour out the love and pain in my life. When I start writing I just can’t stop it is like one right after the other it is truly a magical experience. The problem is I just don’t know how good my stuff is. I have received a handful of reviews located on my website http://thephilosophyofme.com/book-reviews.html. One of my favorite reviews which aren’t located on my website is from Simone at http://spontaneousoverflow.com/wordpress/?p=1751, Even though this review does not necessarily paint my writing in the most positive light; I still seem to like it. I would love to take several writing courses at schools to hone my skills. I think my mind is a perfect tool it is just dull at the moment.    

I wish I lived during the time when poetry was considered an art, and heralded by the people. I have been doing research and literary agents will not represent poets, there is just no market for it. This sucks because I am currently working on three other poetry books, but I am getting to the point where I say to myself why even bother putting in the time for something that will never be read? The question I have is should I continue to work on my poetry projects or just focus on something different? I am really excited about my Tao Te Ching poetry book. I think this one will be my best yet, but should I even take the time? I really think the only way I am going to find readers is through doing live readings; which I hope to do my first few in January. I figure this will be the test to really gage if my work is any good. My goal is to get a local following, and one day become the main headliner, if I am able to do this then I can take some satisfaction that my work has not fallen on deaf ears.

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Okay so I am working on this poetry book inspired by the Tao Te Ching. I plan on adding my own translation of all 81 verses. I am not going to alter it to the point where the meaning is lost; I am going to just change a few words. I am not sure but I think you need to alter the translation so you do not do any copyright infringement. So I am going to include the verse then after the verse I am going to include 1-4 poems inspired by the corresponding verse. I plan on self publishing this title as I did for the last two since publishing a poetry book with a publishing house is damn near impossible. I am enjoying working on this project because it causes me to look deeper into the Tao Te Ching, and develop a deeper understanding of the great Tao. I would like to include the first verse along with my two rough drafts poems to go along with it. Please any feedback would be helpful.

Verse 1

The Tao that can be spoken, is not the eternal Tao

The Tao that can be named, is not the eternal name

The Tao is both named and nameless

As nameless it is the origin of all things

As named it is the Mother of the universe

Ever desiring one can only see her manisfistations

Ever desireless, one will see her mystery

These two spring from the same source, but differ in name

The mystery is the doorway to all understanding

This doorway is the gateway to heaven

Lao-tzu

I constructed this verse with four separate translations. I added two things first I said “the Mother of the universe.” The original verse uses the “Mother of 10,000 things.” I have never really liked this usage. I believe the Tao is the Mother of everything and I believe she gave birth to the universe when the big bang happened. I was always turned off by the ten thousand things reference. I also added at the end “this doorway is the gateway to heaven.” I hope this will not turn people away from this book, I just think a few things can be added to explain the meaning more. Okay so now I am going to include my two poems.

Verse 1 Poem

I am unknowable

Unseeable

Yet I am in your thoughts

I am right before your eyes

Everything comes from my center

Just as the center of your chi

everything that has or will be is my essence

Let go and allow me in

I will show you understanding

Stop trying to make your life work

Let it be

Allow me to show you the Way

Tim Lundmark

Verse 1 Poem

I cannot be named

Try and I will escape you

Strictly desiring me; all you will see are things

If you choose to desire your possessions

And I will flow through your fingers

Be desireless

And I will flow with you

Stop trying

Simply allow

Then I will show you the mystery of the Way

Tim Lundmark

The tough part I am finding is capturing the main message of the verse in poetry form. I am not too happy with my first drafts and definitely feel like there is room for improvement. For now I am going to continue studying these verse’s and find the true meaning. I do not expect to find understanding within the Tao within a short period of timed. This will probably take me a year or so to finish. I just wonder since I am self-publishing if this is even worth my time.

People standing over me

My words

my words you did not see

Looking back you wish you found

To late

To late I’m in the ground

I could no longer go on living this way

I am sorry

I am sorry I disregarded your words to stay

My Family

My family I hate to see you cry

It should be known that I really did try

Children

Children don’t shed a tear

No more walking on egg shells

No more living in fear

I hope one day you see

This was my last good deed

At last

At last

You are all set free

By: Tim Lundmark

From “My Descent into Madness”