Posts Tagged ‘Rap’

  1. Grabbing a gat and going rat a tat tat is the proper way to solve a problem.
  2. When contemplating money it is advised to roll down the street and smoke Indo while sipping on some gin and juice. This is guaranteed to make you laid back.
  3. Apparently to have a “good day” you must not see a jacker, there must be no helicopters looking for a murder, and not having to use my AK. According to this I have NEVER had a good day.
  4. I have learned to respect all those who break their neck to keep their hoes in check.
  5. I think I am lonely because I keep renewing my membership into sharing Other Peoples Property. I have to remember there is no room for relationships there’s only room to hit it. I just wish this membership had an insurance plan for STD’s.
  6. I will throw my hands in the air from time-to-time just to remind my co-workers I am a true playa.
  7. To get the biatches you must: creep from behind, ask who you want to be with, what your interests are, what number to dial, then tell them I am going to call my crew..they should call their crew, then we will rendezvous… then at the rendezvous tell the ladies that they should be havin’ my babies.
  8. I try my hardest to not get my monkey ass played by hanging out with a true crew down with the coochie bang.
  9. I learned complex mathematic riddles such as: Do I have enough hands If I were to have my hands on a sawed off shotgun hand on the pump. My left hand is on the forty where I am puffin on a blunt, while simultaneously pumping said shotgun.
  10. It feels good to be a gangsta for the following reasons:
  • They always have a hip cap
  • They think deep
  • They are us 365 a year 24/7
  • Bitches look at them as a stop sign
  • They hit switches in a black six-fo
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The destruction of the English language started with rap music in the late eighties. I grew up listening to this rap music. I remember trying to mimic the language, attitude, and lifestyles of the rap culture. Here I was living in the suburbs of Minnesota with my pants hanging off my ass, gang signs on my $2.00 white flip-flops, and a shitty ass attitude. I am certain that I looked like a complete douche, but you live and you learn.

I am thankful I didn’t grow up with the rap music that is on the market today. The ghetto slang going around today is as silly as it is complex, so much so that there are entire websites dedicated to translating this goofy shit. I do know that if any of my children came home and used the phrase “real talk” I would most likely drop kick their asses out the window, then reprogram them to talk like normal human beings.

I bring this up because I was listening to T.I.’s “Swing Ya Rag”. The lyrics are laughable at best, and all I can picture is some white kid in the Mall of America swinging his Gucci rag, pants sagging, goofy flat billed baseball cap cocked to the side, and sporting a Gucci purse. These types of antics are downright psychotic, and frankly I would assume that he would be sent to the loony bin for looking like a complete dumbass.

As a parent, I could not allow my child to go out in public like that. I would never allow either of my sons to carry a purse. They could argue all they wanted to say it’s a handbag or backpack. My response would be a simple “it’s a purse dumbass; unless your role is the catcher, you’re not leaving this house”. The day I utter those words, will be the day I finally have to accept that I am old.

These are things I worry about. Honestly though if either of my son’s started going through that phase, I would drive them to North Minneapolis and drop their silly little ass’s off. I am sure they would un-cock their goofy looking flat billed hat’s, pull up their pants, and hide their fruity little man purse. It is easy for suburban kids to act ghetto when they know they won’t get killed for dressing like a total retard.