Posts Tagged ‘Weather’

I can remember as a child getting excited when it snowed. I would play outside building snow forts, constructing massive snowmen, and going sledding on any hill I could find. The kids in the neighborhood would have snow ball fights so the forts we built came in handy. I also remember playing pick-up games of football and it always made it more fun playing in the snow. The cold didn’t bother me then like it does now, because I was being so active. I loved when it snowed so much they had to cancel school. Those were the good old days before I wised up to the shityness winter brings. I had no concept about the horrors of driving to and from work. I am in a consistent panic worrying about the next time I need to drive. It causes all my other MI symptoms to flair up and I easily enter into a psychosis. The drive in this morning was horrible and I am freaking out about having to drive home. To me driving in this weather is playing Russian roulette with a car. I worry each time I head out to drive that this moment may just be my last.

This consistent flow of anxiety and panic always comes in mid-November or after the first snow fall. I worry and I worry until I work myself up in a tisi. My mind is consistently bombarded with images of injury, or death. What fucks me up the most is the ice; this is the invisible killer. You cannot see it but you know it is there waiting for you to make a mistake and when you do BAM! Your dead thank you for playing. It rained this morning and has now turned to snow, this means that the water on the roads will turn into ice. I really just want to bring a cot to work and stay here until Friday. If I were to do this then I would only need to drive in this crap two times a week. I am not necessarily worried about me (although I am) I am more worried about the crazy drivers who think they are invincible. They drive with no cares in the world because they think their four wheel drive will save them from death. Agh I am just sitting here counting down the minutes until I have to drive again.

In the end winter is evil, and is Mother Nature’s way of trying to eradicate us. I think she was really mad when we created fire and housing so we didn’t freeze to death. I do not know why I still choose to live in Minnesota, considering how much I despise winter. I just want it to be over and in reality it is just starting. YUK